Thursday 6 February 2020

#Confessionsonsafarnamay: My protector is my perpetrator.



*This is a real story shared with my someone who would like to remain anonymous.


I don’t remember how old I was, but I do remember that I was very small the first time his finger went up my vagina as he gave me a shower. I was so small that I didn’t know that this isn’t something a father is supposed to do with his daughter.

For me, for many years of my childhood, this was the most normal thing. I thought that this is the kind of a relationship every father shares with his daughter. This belief as a child destroyed and tarnished so much in me as an adult. I feel the knots in my heart are tied so tightly that no amount of love from another, no amount of therapy that can help me unscramble.

We were based in Saudi Arabia, away from the rest of the family, where he had the complete freedom to do as he pleased. Throughout my childhood, my sisters and I were physically abused along with being sexually targeted by our father.  We went to school hiding our bruises, and if someone asked, we made up stories. He was no less than a tyrant to my mother too. He would scream and use foul language. He would beat her at the tiniest of things – such as the food not having the right amount of salt. My mother always felt that had she had a son, things would not have been as bad. But I believe that if I did have a brother, he would be exactly like my monstrous father. Or perhaps, he would run away.

Some years later, we moved to Pakistan into a joint family system. From there, the sexual abuse stopped, but physical violence and emotional attacks continued. I never saw intimacy between my parents. Love was absent. There was just fear and resentment. My father had the audacity to own up to my mother what he did to his daughters but she couldn’t do anything about it. She had no one to believe or support her and unfortunately, her brothers believed my father’s concocted stories, but never her truth.

When I was in 7th grade, my mother, not being able to deal with torture, suffered from a nervous breakdown. After that day, for many years to come, she remained in the confines of her room, eating and speaking very little. That meant that along with our studies, my sisters and I had to manage the home chores. I tried to spend as much time as possible with my mother, trying to counsel her, console her and to tell her that she needs to give up on her dream that one day, my father will become less monstrous.

For many years, I didn’t speak to my sisters about how my father was sexually abusing me. That’s because we were never able to become close or confide in one another. My father never allowed us to have a normal relationship, the kind sisters usually share. Perhaps it was his divide and rule policy, and had his way of unfairly favouring one to make the others jealous. He would ridicule our physical appearances and create nasty comparisons, making us resent each other for our supposed shortcomings. However, as we grew older and perhaps smart enough to understand what an ill person our father is, we slowly started opening up to each other, only to realize that he molested all his daughters, not just one.

As time passed, we started staying more and more out of the house, using studies as a scapegoat. We took up tuitions and occupied ourselves with housework so we engaged with him as little as possible. If you ask me, I was never really able to deal with the trauma of being sexually abused by the very man who was responsible for my birth, who was supposed to not just be my protector but also my mahram, the one who was supposed to safeguard me with his own life. All these years, I have kept my emotions blocked, because it is too hard to face them. And perhaps because I never reconciled with what happened to me as a child, I am not able to enjoy life the way others can and have grown up with zero self- worth. When I was younger, I didn’t have the money to afford professional help. But when I started working, I did see a psychiatrist a couple of times. She put me on medicines and I soon discontinued them. I’ll confess that I was just fearful of the side-effects.

Today, I am married and am a mother. But I have never been able to enjoy intimacy with my husband, which is not an expression of love, but merely a duty that I have to perform. I have trust issues, I go through bouts of depression. I am grateful that my life after marriage is much better than my childhood, and although my bad memories try to pull me back into darkness, I try hard to stay positive for my daughter. When I can’t feel happy from the inside, I pretend. That is something I am good at, because most of my life, I have put on a show for others. Sometimes, when I see my husband share a beautiful bond with my daughter, I see the broken parts of the puzzle that my own childhood never was.

It breaks my hard to face the reality that I have no maika. I can’t abandon my mother, so I do go to see her, but I hate the sight of my father. A grandparent is supposed be like a cloud of compassion and love, yet, I never leave my daughter with him because I know what he can potentially do.

What kind of a life is it where you must protect your daughter from her own nana? What kind of a world is it where you are sexually violated by your father? What kind of a reality is it that you have living, breathing parents, yet, there is NO WAY you can turn to them for support…



This story has been illustrated by Mariam Ahmad. You can see more of her work here.



Sunday 27 October 2019

Farhat Ishtiaq on Ye Dil Mera, the backlash and more.


Ye Dil Mera, the much awaited Ahad Raza Mir and Sajal Aly starrer drama serial, is about to premiere on TV and has already generated much controversy. As soon as the first teaser was released, social media was set on fire. The scene that portrayed a ‘handsome, young boss’ asking inappropriate questions in his office while interviewing a female candidate was not well received. It seemed that the play is romanticizing workplace harassment.



While some would argue that it is unfair to ‘cancel’ a play even before the first episode has aired, many would say that women who have been a victim of workplace (or any other form) of harassment will find it enough of a trigger to anger and frustrate them. In the current global climate where more and more women are finding the courage to come out with their truths, and yet most are being silenced by victim blaming, the backlash is, to say the least, natural and expected.

On seeing the promo, my heart was divided. I have been an ardent fan that has admired Farhat Ishtiaq’s powerful writing for a long time. On my blog, I have also spoken about personal experiences of being sexually harassed by a stranger on the street, by a colleague, and by a doctor. I felt that in order to find my answers, I must speak to the writer herself, who was awarded ‘Best Writer’ accolades for Udaari, a play that aimed to create awareness about sexual harassment of children in Pakistan.

I am sharing what she had to say about the criticism received as well as some of the other questions I asked about the serial. You are free to form your own opinions based on her take.

Me: When the first teaser of Ye Dil Mera was released, on one hand, the public excitement was immeasurable. Sajal and Ahad were coming together for the first time in a play as a real-life couple. It was a Farhat Ishtiaq story once again. It seemed like a revisit to the YKS days. On the other hand, there was a severe backlash on social media as the storyline of the play was interpreted to be one based on workplace harassment. What would you like to say about that?

Farhat Ishtiaq: Anyone who has followed my plays on screen or has read my novels would know that I am a proud feminist as well as a supporter of the ‘Me Too’ movement. As a woman and as a Pakistani, I am well aware of the kind of harassment females go through on a daily basis, inside as well as outside of home. As a story writer, I never compromise on the dignity of my female lead. If you go back to Khirad in Humsafar, even in her silence, she was a strong girl. Her situation may have made her weak, but when it came to her self-respect, she didn’t compromise. You will see that even in Ye Mera Dil, the respect of the female lead will not be compromised.

As a nation, we are emotional. In a minute, we put someone up on the highest pedestal and without wasting a moment, we take away that position. A ‘teaser’ for a play is meant to ‘tease’ the audience and gain their attention. The audience will only understand the scenario or the context of that scene under question when they get watch the play once it airs. The public is then free to appreciate or criticize. I will respect the feedback.

I would also like to add that the public has not just scene my work, they have scene the work of the entire team before. Just by watching a teaser, starting a movement of backlash on social media is a little bit of a ‘ziaadati’. Once the play airs and the misunderstandings are clear, I would like to see whether those who criticized me on social media as a story writer will admit their mistake as openly. When the first teaser came out, the audience wasn’t even ware of the genre. The scene under question is not my plot, not even my sub plot. When you’re building a story that is a romantic thriller, some characters WILL be dark or grey. You need such characters to build the suspense. And for that reason, not all characters can be positive. I am hoping that the audience will eventually find the characters to be deep and will be able to connect with them. As the drama unfolds, they will understand why a certain character reacted in a certain way.


Me: Where did you find the inspiration to write a play in the genre of ‘romantic thriller’?

Farhat Ishtiaq: I drew the inspiration to include grey characters in a story laced with suspense from real life people that I have come across in my life. I have seen that people who go through some kind of an emotional trauma in their childhood often carry the burden of it throughout their life. The past keeps coming back to haunt them and that baggage negatively affects the relationships they form in their adulthood. The characters of Sajal, Ahad and Adnan Siddiqui will shed light on this side of human behavior. The very fact that I have had the experience of interacting such people in my life helped me create situations and characters which are so close to reality.

Me: If not Sajal Aly and Ahad Raza Mir for the play, then who else?

Farhat Ishtiaq: Both Sajal and and Ahad have done such tremendous jobs in their own roles that I cannot imagine anyone else doing this serial. The intensity you see in Amaan’s (Ahad’s character) eyes or the fear you see on Noor ul Ain’s (Sajal’s character) face is just amazing. I am extremely happy with the choice of actors!

Me: Your favourite character in the play?

Farhat Ishtiaq: It is not just my stories that are my babies, it is also the characters. While writing a story, I live the life of each character with them. I cry with them, I laugh with them, and I feel extremely close to each one of them. Hence, to pick a favourite from them is not possible.

Me: Your favourite dialogue from Ye Dil Mera?

Farhat Ishtiaq: Let me admit that this is the first time people don’t already know the story of my play. Usually, when my plays are based on my novels, people know what will happen beforehand. But this time, reading about the predictions based on promos people are making on social media is a lot of fun! I can’t say which one is my favourite dialogue because if I share that, I will reveal too much about the story. So, let’s wait for the play to end then we can get together for another interview (haha!).

Me: How are Noor ul Ain and Amaan different from Zubia and Dr. Asfandyar?

Farhat Ishtiaq: I would say that Zubia and Asfi are the complete opposites of Noor and Amaan. For Amaan, I would like to add that there will be times when people will love him, sometimes they will feel angry and sometimes they will feel sorry for him. But, no one will be able to hate it. People will be able to understand his reactions.

Me: For the sake of asking you a lighter question, why did Sajal Aly come so dressed up and wearing ‘jhumkas’ for a professional job interview? Also, how much of a contribution does the writer have when it comes to the wardrobe of characters for particular scenes?

Farhat Ishtiaq: Well, if it were me, I would have maybe INCREASED the size of the jhumkas, haha! I would even throw in a necklace to my look! When you will see the play, you will understand why she was dressed up in that attire.

As far as the contribution of the writer goes, each character is a product of the mind of the writer. What the characters wear, how much makeup they use, how they talk and how they carry themselves, all comes out of the writer’s imagination. Translating that on screen is the responsibility of the director and giving them life is then done by the artists. I feel the team has done a beautiful job while trying to achieve that.



Me: We can see from the promos that a large chunk of the play is shot in the Northern Areas of Pakistan. Was that a requirement of the story?

Farhat Ishtiaq: Yes, the location has a huge impact on setting the mood of the audience and the backdrop plays a great role in creating the right ambiance on screen. For my story, I needed a cottage in a mountainous area that gives a haunted vibe as a shooting location. I must add here that the production team scouted just the right places to make scenes of my imagination a reality. Our producer, Momina Duraid, never compromises on the requirements of the writer, even if it means stretching the budget. Last year, when the team went to the North to dig out shooting locations and shared photos with me, I was beyond impressed by the wonderful job they did. Darya Bagh, the place which you will see in the play, is exactly how I imagined it to be. They shot in extreme temperatures just to stay true to the feel of my scenes and I couldn’t be happier.

Me: Yaqeen Ka Safar was a super duper hit play. When it ended, people missed it for weeks on Wednesday evenings. The public demanded a sequel. Now that another one of your plays is about to air with the same team and cast, do you feel any sort of pressure about meeting everyone’s expectations?

Farhat Ishtiaq: Well, you can say that once I am done writing a serial and it is about to air, I feel just like a student who has put in all her effort while preparing, but is nervous on the day of her exam. The pressure is not because of the same team, I would have felt it even if I were working with a different set of people. How this project will be received by the audience is something only Allah knows. But I sure do hope that the public loves it as much as the love we have put in to bring this serial to them. It is a play that will be packed with emotions. I pray that people are able to connect with the story just like they did in YKS, Hamsafar, Diyar e Dil and Udaari.

Wednesday 2 October 2019

How an unwarranted attack on Bano's mental health gave me perspective



When you’re an influencer, you have to gulp down the fact that people will consider your public profile a free pass to criticize you, your appearance, lifestyle, choices, parenting, relationships and whatever else they like. Whether you find it fair or unfair, that’s just how it is. While you slowly learn how to let these jibes go, what becomes difficult to take in stride is a negative remark hurled at your children. 

A couple of days ago, a follower, or in other words, a complete stranger, who knows only as much about me as I choose to share on my Instagram blog, commented that Bano is suffering from ADHD (no she wasn’t a pediatrician or a psychologist) and that I should have her checked.

Her remark made me angry. How dare she pass a judgement on my child based on the couple of Bano-based stories she sees per week? You know how mums can be…they can absorb anything but when it comes to their children, they are super protective. However, I chose to maintain my calm.



The truth is that although I find Bano tough to deal with, I never questioned the ‘normalcy’ of her behavior, be it her screams, her tears or her endearing hugs, because they don’t call this stage ‘terrible twos’ for nothing. While every toddler goes through this at varying degrees, children around this age typically oscillate between dependence on adults and a new-born desire to be independent. They say ‘no’ profusely, they cling to you with vehemence, or run away in rage. Temper tantrums also arise, due to the frustration of not being able to communicate what they do or do not want. As lots of mums would DM me saying their toddler behaves just like Bano and that they can totally relate, it would be further corroborated that THIS IS HOW TODDLERS ARE. I know that Inshallah, this difficult phase shall pass.

Hence, the DM that attacked Bano’s mental health was something I just binned without a second thought. Then, came in a DM saying “my child also screams a lot and my family feels I need to show him to a doctor. Would you consider showing Bano to a doctor?”. That got me thinking that not all mothers are perhaps aware about terrible 2s, and if they are, their family members (how very typical of our society) make them believe otherwise. “Iska behavior normal nahin hai. Hamsaaye ka bacha to aisa na karta. Tahira ki beyti to aisey nahin karti. Merey bachay to aisay nahin thay. Isay doctor ko dikhaao”. I can so imagine desi aunties getting an already frazzled, tired mother worried for nothing.

This prompted me to speak to my psychotherapist friend (PF here on), who has been my rescue 911 at multiple occasions. She gave so much clarity as a parent, not just as Bano’s, but Minha’s too. Now I see it all in a whole new light and am, in fact, grateful to that stranger who made me probe into this, only to see that Bano’s personality is actually a blessing for me.

How? Read on.

My PF, very rightly so, pointed out that our in culture, (controlling) parents and family members expect too much from toddlers. He must eat without making a mess, must not take off shoes, must not dirty the sofas and walls, must speak politely to elders, must not be noisy, must listen to elders and the list goes on. We have made our own definitions of what a NORMAL CHILD SHOULD BE LIKE. If a child doesn’t fit this mould, then the comparison begins with other toddlers, who perhaps are not going through terrible 2s to such a degree. And the conclusion is reached that the child needs to see a doctor that can help him/her ‘correct’ his/her behavior.

In the constant correction and admonishment, desi parents end up not allowing the child to express him/herself, so much so that they end up killing parts of the personality a child is born with. We don’t allow our children to explore and view the world the way they like, and passively teach them that they need to always please people. While growing up, the child worries so much about ‘ammi abbu naraz ho jaein gay, log kya kaheingay’ that as an adult, the child is incapable of voicing his/her opinion, stand up for him/herself or doing things to make him/herself happy. Everything is about ‘log’ and satisfying them. What a pity that unknowingly, we don’t allow our children to blossom and bloom to their true potential. We raise them to be timid, indecisive adults. We destroy their personalities by telling them “don’t do what you want to do, do what everyone else wants you to do”. If they are being bullied, they will not be able to speak up for themselves. We stunt their creativity. As parents, we do a disservice to them.



It breaks my heart to realize that.

According to my PF, toddlers like Bano, who are very sure about their likes and dislikes, grow up to be autonomous, creative, and clear what they want from life. They listen to their feelings and choose to do what’s best for them, without worrying about ‘log kya kaheingay’. Research shows that children whose parents avoid being ‘helicopters’ have more resource to deal with different situations as adults. Imposing parents end up with children that have issues, often needing therapy to heal themselves.

As I listened to my PF’s response, I realized Bano is born with the qualities that I work so hard on with Minha, who is mostly unable to defend herself or say ‘no’ in school or a playground. What else do I want more than to have a daughter who naturally is strong is able to speak up for herself?!

When I think back, I have had fewer expectations as a parent from Bano as compared to Minha. I have been more accepting of the fact that she is a child and it is her job to turn the house and my brain upside down. If she dirties the white sofa with her meals, it is MY fault that I chose white fabric. If Bano grabs my lipstick and breaks it, it is MY fault that I left it in the open. If Bano is having an ice cream, I cannot expect that she won’t stain her jacket. I want her to enjoy it, I want to enjoy watching her, and once home, I want to patiently throw the jacket in the laundry without making it a big deal. After speaking to a qualified, practicing therapist, my resolve to continue being that kind of a parent is stronger than ever. I want to allow Bano to grow up as a ‘free child’ so that as an adult, she’s strong and brave enough to face the world. Having said that, I want to continue working on Minha, allowing her the freedom to be herself and maybe asking Bano to give her a couple of tips in the future, haha!

My purpose of sharing this blog post is to tell all mums whose children are labelled as ‘not normal’ to relax. The symptoms of terrible 2s and ADHD are SO similar that it is TOO SOON to make conclusive remarks about a child. Your 3-year-old cannot be expected to sit like a soldier. If your extended family members expect that from him, the problem lies with THEM.


You can follow my Instagram blog here.


Sunday 2 June 2019

Eid Recipes Series – 4th Edition: Mahvish’s Very Berry Cheesecake


Prep time: 50 minutes (sauce plus cheesecake)
Setting time: 1 hour



As the Eid Recipes Series comes to an end, I thought I should wrap it up with some mithaas. It’s meethi Eid, afterall! Aur mithaas ke saath seasonal fruits ho jaein to kya hi baat hai.



What makes my cheesecake a winner is its very berry sauce topping. It is so shiny and eye-catching! To make it, I use mixed berries. I use strawberries because I like their flavor and smell. I use raspberries because I like their tangy punch and the texture their seeds add. I use blackberries too for the colour they add. However, I do understand that finding a variety of berries is not typically easy in Pakistan. But not to worry! You can use only strawberries too, if they are in season. And, if you want to make your life even simpler, just buy blueberry sauce topping off the shelf (I used the American Garden brand in Pakistan) from stores such as Al Fatah in Lahore or Agha’s or Paradise in Karachi.



I decided to share my easy breezy and very popular cheesecake recipe because I felt it would be a brilliant feature to add to an Eid trolley. It is so simple to make. It is beautiful to look at. And it is fresh. The crazy part is that it is cheese-less. Yet, a cheesecake nonetheless. Naam jo bhi de dein, hai fit. To aaein seekhtey hein, iss khubsurat se meethay ko bananay ka tareeqa e kaar.




Ingredients:

Digestive biscuits 200 grams
1 tin of condensed milk 400 grams
Cream 400 ml (2 packets of Milkpak or Olper’s cream for Pakistan)
Melted butter 100 grams
Gelatin powder (I use Rosemoor brand from Pakistan)
Berries of your choice (2 roughly filled mugs)
Sugar

Method:



For the sauce:
  • In a saucepan, add 1 mug of water, 1 tablespoon sugar and the berries.
  • Allow the water to come to a boil. Then lower the heat so that the fruit cooks and eventually disintegrates.
  • Use a hand blender to puree the fruit.
  • Cook the sauce further until it starts to thicken.
  • In about 2-3 tsps of lukewarm water, add 2 tsps of gelatin and mix quickly. Then add the gelatin to the sauce ad stir well
  • Allow the sauce to cool down and then put it in the fridge so it may thicken a little more
  • It takes about 25 minutes for the sauce to cook to its desired consistency.



For the Cheesecake:
  • In a blender, crush together the biscuits and the melted butter. They will combine to form a coarse mixture.

  • Now layer the base of the container in which you intend to set the cheesecake while pressing with a spoon so that the biscuit is packed tightly. [You can use the traditional cheesecake mould, which is removed after the cake is set or use shot glasses/small bowls to make individual servings like me. I prefer the individual servings because they look so cute!]

  • Put the bowls in the fridge for a few minutes so that the base is firmly set
  • In a large mixing bowl, whisk the condensed milk and the cream together

  • Then add 3 tsps of gelatin in about 4 tsps of lukewarm water and mix well. Add the gelatin to the mixture and whisk again
  • Now, pull out the bowls from the fridge and layer the creamy mixture on top. Keep in mind that the biscuit base should form ¼ of the dessert and the creamy mixture ¾

  • Put the bowls back into the fridge and allow 1 hour for the dessert to set
  • Once the cheesecake is ready, garnish your bowls. In my photos, I have given you 4 ideas for garnishing and decorating. You can pick your favourite style or even mix and match!






Serve with tea or coffee.



P.S: I do a cheesecake with cream cheese and lotus biscuits. I will share that with you all soon, if you’d like a proper CHEESE cake recipe!


Sunday 26 May 2019

Eid Recipe Series - Third Edition: Chatpati Dahi Phulki



Prep time: 15-20 minutes 

Let’s face it. From the eve of the chaand raat we begin thoosing so much that by the time it is the morning of Eid, we are swollen balloons. Going from one rishtaydaar ka ghar to another, we keep thoosing further and soon reach the verge of a violent ‘thaaaa!’. In such situations, dahi pulki tends to be an easy eat, ‘cause you gotta eat na, warna Farzana chachi may not like that you didn’t eat anything from her dastarkhawaan. Or, Najma phuppo may accuse you of dieting. Hence, this dahi phulki is a life saver.



I know that dahi phulki/barhey are an essential as well as acritical feature of the Pakistani iftar table. Yet, my family never tends to get sick of it. We all love it, and make it throughout the year. My mum’s been a champion of it, and even those who have never had the jigar to acknowledge her skill in the kitchen will not deny that when it comes to dahi phulki, she’s a master. I’ve learnt the art from her and have made a few of my personal modifications. Here my sisters, I pass the legacy down to you.


Ingredients:



500 grams plain yogurt (usually 1 dabba)
¾ cup milk
¼ cup water
1 medium sized potato
2 cups ready made phulki (or home made if you prefer)
2 tbsps chopped onion
1 tomato (chopped)
2 tbsps chopped coriander
1 small green chili (chopped)
½ boiled chickpeas
¼ tsp garlic paste
Paaprhi
Bhel (can skip if you don’t like it)
Imli chatni
¼ tsp sugar
Masalas: salt, pepper, cumin, red chili powder, chaat masala



Method:

  • Boil some water and soak the phulki in a bowl. Keep aside for softening

  • Boil a potato
  • While it boils, begin preparing the yogurt. In a big bowl, dish out the yogurt and add the water and milk while whisking. If you want thinner consistency, add a some more milk. Make sure the consistency is creamy and not watery

  • Now add the masalas (according to taste) and the garlic paste (gives the dahi a totally bazaari spin). Mix well

  • Once the potato is done, peel and dice it into small cubes and add to the mixture

  • Now, add onion, tomato, green chili and half the chopped coriander

  • When the phulki is soft (in about 10 minutes), remove the excess water and add the phulki to the yogurt mixture. Mix gently to keep the phulki from breaking
  • Remove the mixture into your serving dish. [Pro tip: Never do the mixing in the dish you intend to use for serving because it gets super messy during the prep and you want to serve in a gandi,mayli looking dish]
  • Now sprinkle paprhi generously, along with the bhel


  • Garnish with the remaining chopped coriander.

  • Chill well and serve with imli chatni. [Pro tip: If your family is a fan of very chatpati cheezein, then add 2 tsps of imli chatni to your yogurt mixture for an extra tangy punch]


More pro tips:

You can prepare the dish a day in advance and add some milk if it gets too thick the next day. Make sure the you add the crunchy garnishing right before serving. Warna soggy scene.

You can prepare the yogurt mix with the phulki, garlic and masalas and then serve the rest of the additions as side condiments. That way the guests can build their own chaat plate, making the process fun and also a little different.

Sunday 19 May 2019

Eid Recipe Series - Second Edition: Mahvish’s Signature Lasagna





Prep time: 40 minutes
Baking time: 25 minutes



No Eid trolley can be complete without a cheesy dish so I decided to share the best cheesy recipe I do. There are some things I cook that make me love my haath ka zaaiqa a little more, and my lasagna is one of them. Apni hi fan ho jaati hoon isay khaa ke. Qasam se. Lawlingzzz.

If an Italian would see this recipe, he or she may want to cringe because it is not how the natives would typically do it. But as Pakistanis love going a little extra with the fillings and the flavours, I have modified this Italian dish to suit the desi palate. Agar Pakistani/Indian khana yahan ke hisaab se customize kiya jaa sakta hai, to wilaayati khanay hamaray taste buds ke hisaab se kyun nahin banaya jaa sakta? Kya khayal hai? Khyaal beshak naik hai.



So, here’s how you make Mahvish’s Signature Lasagna. The process is cumbersome. But the result… finger lickin’ good.



Ingredients:




1 large onion
¼ tsp garlic paste
250 gm minced chicken/mutton/beef
2 tomatoes
½ cup pizza sauce (replace with one more tomato if you don’t have it)
4 tbsps chili garlic sauce
Lasagna strips (usually 6)
6 tbsps flour
4 cups milk
250 gm cheddar cheese (grated)
½ cup sliced mushrooms
250 gm spinach (finely chopped)
1 capsicum
Oregano

Method:

  • Chop the onion and fry until golden brown
  • Add minced meat and cook for 5 minutes
  • Add chopped tomatoes, the pizza sauce, salt, pepper, ½ tsp oregano, ½ tsp garlic paste, chili garlic sauce and chili flakes. Allow to cook until the meat is done (about 15 minutes). Add ¼ cup water if required. Let the consistency to remain saucy [Pro tip: prepare the mince one day in advance to make the lasagna process quicker the next day]
  • Boil lasagna strips and keep aside
  • In a saucepan, saute the flour in 3 tbsps of oil and then add four cups of milk while using a whisk. Keep the heat low. [Pro tip: this mixture tends to get lumpy. To get rid of the lumps I use a hand blender. True life savour and I end up with creamy, lump-less consistency of my white sauce]

  • Now add ¾ of the grated cheese, chili flakes, pepper, salt and 4 tbsps soy sauce. Your white sauce is now ready

  • In a separate pan, saute ¼ tsp garlic paste and mushrooms. Then add the spinach and allow to cook for about 5 minutes in a couple of sips of water. [Pro-tip: I use the ready made creamy spinach available in the market. Go for that option if possible! Richer, more delicious!]

  • You can now begin your layering. Oil the base of the dish and start with lining it with white sauce. The layer the meat and cover with lasagna strips. Repeat with white sauce, meat and lasagna strips and white sauce again. Now, layer the mushroom and spinach mixture and cover with the remaining grated cheese.


  • Garnish with rings of capsicum and put the dish in a pre-heated over at 180 degrees centigrade for 25 minutes

  • Once the baking time is up, allow the lasagna to rest for a couple of minutes so that it is set and ready to be served [Pro tip: If you want to serve this for a daawat along with many other dishes, you can prepare the dish one day in advance and bake right before serving. You can focus on other dishes on the day of the daawat that way!]







Sunday 12 May 2019

Eid Recipes Series - First Edition: Banana and Walnut Bread with Cream Cheese Sauce



Why did I choose my banana and walnut bread for your Eid trolley? 1. Every time I’d make it in Karachi for my friends, the platter would end up with a clean sweep. It is THAT good. 2. Chocolate based desserts and kheer/firni types are done to death. 3. After those heavy Eid lunches, this is a great meetha to sit back with, chill out and wash down with a hot cup of chai.


Simple ingredients, no taraddud. With this, lots of wah wahs are sure to come your way. Minha had it yesterday and said “mama, you’re surely the best cook in the world”.

Prep time: 15 minutes
Baking time: 50 minutes – 1 hour

The Bread



Ingredients:


3 eggs
175 gm sugar
175 gm butter (melted)
2 bananas (mashed)
2 tsp lemon juice
50 gm chopped walnuts
225 gm flour (makes about 16 tbsps)
¾ tsp cinnamon powder
1 + ¼ tsp baking powder

Method:


·        Beat the eggs
·        Add all the ingredients except bananas and walnuts and whisk
·        Now fold in the bananas and walnuts
·        Oil a bread pan
·        Pour in the mixture and bake in a pre-heated oven at 170 degree C for 50 mniutes to 1 hour (all ovens are different so if your loaf is not done after 45 or 50 minutes, bake more)

The Sauce



Ingredients:
1 tin condensed milk (I used Comelle in Pakistan)
¾ jar of cream cheese (I used Kraft or Puck in Pakistan)

Method:
On very low heat, mix both ingredients with a whisk and remove after a few minutes. Do not boil. Just make sure the consistency is smooth and there are not cheesy lumps in the sauce. Ideally, make the sauce right before serving so it is warm.



How to serve: When the bread is ready, you can pour the warm sauce on top. Garnish with banana slices and whole walnuts.