2017 IN 17 PHOTOS

Rewinding the reel

2017 has been a monumental year for me. So many things happened which altered the way I approached life and put many of my preconceived notions into question. I left the life that I had built in Karachi for almost 8 years to first move to Lahore where I had to wait for 7 months to deliver my baby before I could join my husband in Switzerland. I became a mum of 2 instead of 1. I became a housewife (with a little bit of writing and blogging happening on the side) from a teacher at IBA. I went through a life threatening surgery which taught me if one is to ask for anything from God, it’s health. Despite the pain and loss I went through, there is much to thank God for and I realized that one can only appreciate life as much as I do now when you come this close to losing it. Now when I look back, I say all is well that ends well, Alhamdulillah. Here’s a recap of my year.

2017 started with me moving to my parents’ house while the hubby joined his new role in 

Schaffhausen. I survived with loads of chocolates, getting high on Minha’s hugs and lots and lots of Whatsapp video calls with the bearded man. When we fought, the whole world listened but we pulled through.

And while doing that I realized I have the bestest friends, family and in-laws in the world who made my time with a growing tummy and without the husband, bearable.

While the tummy and I taught O level Economics at LGS, we also designed a pretty and budget friendly maternity wardrobe for ourselves. The blog was a super hit and I helped many mums-to-be with designing as well as kaprha and lace procurement issues.

I homeschooled Minha for an entire term and on the side she took singing lessons and modeled for Master Celeste and an Instagram shop called Whistle & Hum.

Days before my delivery the husband made a comeback in my life and we ate out, chilled with Minha and spent time together before making room for the 4^th person to join the family. Here’s us a day before the baby came.

Though I went in for my surgery with manucired nails and a blow dry AND with a promise to be less of a cry baby than I was when I gave birth to Minha, things turned out differently and I ended up spending 8 days in the hospital. Lots was lost yet a lot gained through this experience. Finally, I feel I am ready to look the incident in the eye and share this picture with everyone.

Allah was kind and I made it home, with a lot of scars and stitches. But my beautiful baby girl made up for them. I feel I have no words to thank Him for her and the fact that I am there for her, and Minha, to help them through life. This is us celebrating Eid together.

Once I was healthy enough to travel, the kids and I flew to Switzerland to join the bearded man.

Adjusting to European life was hard, made worse with a new born to care for. With a lot of cooking, bathroom scrubbing, poop cleaning and sometimes crying going on in the background, we got to see the tail end of the Swiss Summer. [Lots of muscles were also made while carrying heavy groceries home via an uphill walk. I the swears.]

We got to see autumn in all it’s glory…

And saw our first snow. Practically a huge challenge with the stroller and the hilly walk, it was indeed magical. 

With bits of short day trips here and there, the bearded man gifted himself with a few days in Paris for his birthday, where we got to stay and spend time with 2 of our best and most cherished friends.

I gave him his wife in a fresh, new look. He paid for this present himself which is even more fun.

I also made my first paratha and proved the hypothesis “I cannot make desi food” wrong.

I got to understand motherhood in a totally different way and post my surgery scare, that’s the field I want to make the most goals in.

All of December was insanely beautiful with the Christmas lights and markets adding a dose of colour and excitement, much needed in the cold, drab weather. We had a little Christmas celebration at home too. Santa came and gave us presents. This Santa is awesome I swear.

We celebrated our 9^th Anniversary atop Mount Titlis in the Swiss Alps with our amazing Parisian friends where we froze but had so much fun.

From 2017 I have learnt that one day you can find yourself on rocky roads and on another in gardens of sunshine. But what defines how happy (or sad) you are is your attitude. Where you might find yourselves challenged with the worst of issues, you are indeed blessed by Allah in other ways as compensation. Always know that nobody’s life is perfect – the woman with the perfect house may be in an abusive relationship; the one with the perfect job in Europe may be struggling to have a child; the one with the most supportive husband may have financial issues to deal with and the who seems to have it all may be fighting depression or the illness of his child. Hence, count your blessings, make the most of life, spend less time fretting and more with your children and family. Kya pata, kal ho na ho? Have a happy and blessed new year!

5 LIPSTICKS TO TAKE YOUR WINTER FROM DRAB TO FAB

Lip service for $7 and under!

The weather is turning grey and gloomy and you feel like changing your Facebook details to ‘in a relationship with my kambal’. Sitting by the fireplace, wrapped in your ammi’s shawl and binging on moong phalli while scrolling through Instagram sounds like the winter perfect idea. But the truth is you have a gazillion weddings to attend and also make it to work the next dat. When life is such, the best way to cheer yourself (and those around you) up is to wear some yummy colours on your lips. A good red is always in fashion, always classic, and I love my Ruby Woo (MAC) more than anything, but playing around with other colours is a fun way to combat the winter dreariness. Especially when your winter skin is not sweaty and messy like it is in the summer (I hope).

Your lips need to be treated well but not every new lip colour needs to be a Chanel or a Dior. And not even a MAC. When cheaper, and great, options are available in varying finishes, why not add a few to your make up stash without burning holes in your pocket? Here are the fabulous and budget friendly lip colours you need to pull yourself through winter.

TIP: When you start putting on your make up, moisturize your lips well for starters. When it’s time to put on your lipstick, you lips will be soft and supple. Flaky lipstick on chapped lips is a complete no.

DISCLAIMER: You are about to through a savage selfie bombardment. 

1. The New Pink

Creamy and well pigmented, NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream, shade Prague, is a perfect winter pink. The brush facilitates application; it’s smooth and sets to a matte finish. A good break from the bright, spring pinks and just what you need for sitting by the fireplace and enjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Also, it smells like vanilla ice cream so that’s another plus. Needs reapplication after a meal.

Price: $6.50

2. The New Maroon

Rich and nourishing, KIKO’s Rouge a Levres (No.416) is a great maroon for day as well as evening wear. Glides on easily and will last even after dessert and a cup of coffee (giving a lip stain type look). Use it when you need to rely on make up to look and feel fresh. Glossy finish and an ideal buy for the painful shaadi season.

Price: $6.00

3. The New Coral

NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in shade Amsterdam is velvety in texture and matte in finish. A bright, cheerful colour (between red and orange) to drive away your winter blues and give an instant upgrade your everyday black sweater. Smells great, easy to apply but needs reapplication after eating.

Price: $6.50

4. The New Plum

KIKO’s Amaranth, shade 914, is a rich, pigmented pick that will take your face from that of a Plain Jane to a total fashionista’s. The finish is creamy and long lasting. Traces of colour remain post a meal and a coffee. (I totally enjoyed consuming the calories while experimenting with and reviewing these lipsticks BTW.)

Price: $7.00

5. The New Brown

When you don’t feel comfortable going for the full fledged vampy look but still want something edgy happening on your face, try the Ultra Last Rich Mahogany (No.20) by Essence. Glides on easily, with a shiny finish. Wear it at day time or step out with it at night, and you are guaranteed your lip moment.

Price: $2.99

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“Come back to me”, said Life.

Three months later….

While on a very special journey of motherhood with my second born, I am also on a very special journey with myself, a journey of trusting life again. It’s perhaps a chapter of my life that others can read but not understand, not even those who are closest to me. There are thoughts that I cannot pen down, scars that I cannot show. For when one sees death, so close, so tangible, so real, it alters the meaning of life.

During my pregnancy, I was suffering from a bad case of Placenta Accreta, though it was asymptomatic throughout and went undetected in the ultrasounds. When my baby was delivered, my uterus hemorrhaged severely, making me fight hard for my life.  My family went through the most testing time, finding 11 donors of A-negative blood group to save me, praying that I make it, and hiding it from my elder daughter through the agonizing hours of my surgery. At the end of this battle, I lost my uterus. But mentally, I lost much more.

My time in the ICU is like a haze. I cannot place events neatly into exact days. Probably, the pieces of this puzzle will always remain in disarray. While my vitals mostly remained stable, my mind played games. I remember my gynecologist conversing with me, helping me heal mentally, while sitting next to a window, with lots of sunshine penetrating through. There was no actual window in that room. I remember a nurse telling me to read to take a break from the pain, with a lamp on my bed side table shining with warm, yellow light. There was no actual side table or a lamp. It was perhaps the comfort I drew from these conversations that made my surroundings seem well lit. I remember the nights, dark and black, the sound of the footsteps of nurses keeping me up, their whispers and the occasional beeps on their phones telling me that I am alive. I remember the pain of those nights. When I was made to walk to keep my wounds from getting sore, one nurse carried my urine bag and another the drain in my stomach. I remember the anxiety. My slip disc made my back hurt, since I had to lay down straight for days. Due to sleep deprivation, I ended up with auditory hallucinations and heard songs that didn’t exist. An aunty in a pink sari and a Sikh rapper, creations of my imagination, entertained me endlessly with their lousy lyrics.

I remember the day I was released from the ICU, getting on a wheelchair to go to a ‘normal’ hospital room and bursting into tears as I exited. I thought I will never make it out of there. Feeling the cool air as the lift doors opened to another floor, seeing flowers in my new room and a window with sunlight coming through was overwhelming. I thought I will never see sunlight again. I remember each of the medical ‘extras’ being removed from my body turn by turn, marking progress in recovery – the nasal cannula, the stomach drain, the pipe that pieced through my neck, going directly to my heart, the urine catheter, which was as painful as the prick of a needle every time I moved; the last branula to come out of my veins, the doctor saying “no more injections”. I remember it all like a nightmare.

I remember leaving the hospital – staring at the sky, witnessing the usual traffic, people going about their daily business. I remember crying again. Unbelievable, it was, that there was a high chance I’d never see Lahore again. I remember looking back to see my newborn in the car seat. It was possible she came home without me. I remember meeting my elder daughter, who welcomed me with ribbons and balloons. It was possible I’d never see her smile again. And she, mine. It is all so real. Yet, so elusive.

Once I was home, I could see my family’s stress slowly drifting away. My elder daughter started eating again and speaking like herself. But, for me, coming back to life was not easy. Every time I laughed, it felt unnecessary. For days, I found comfort in my own pain. I felt the urge to stare at the picture from the hospital with all those tubes and machines attached to me. For days I was certain I will not survive. The usual bleeding after having a child made my heart pound. Every time I went out for a drive, I returned home tired and demotivated. I didn’t have an appetite, the hospital smells lingered on my tongue. I used to wake up in the night, drenched in sweat, with nightmares of me being eaten up by insects in my grave. It was claustrophobic. I mourned my own death for my husband, my children and my parents. I wasn’t sure if I needed a psychiatrist, medication or a religious aalim to make me feel better. I did not know where to find my peace. Apart from my immediate family and the closest of my friends, the world did not interest me.

However, despite of what I felt, people came. Soon after was Eid and I dressed up, despite the physical toll it took on me. Dressing up felt good. Slowly, I started bonding with my newborn; I started reading to my eldest again. Over time, I realized doing normal things makes me feel normal. Texts about trip itineraries of my friends rather than those saying ‘get well soon’ eased the nerves in my body.  As the physical pain lessened, the mental stress reduced. Self counseling and conversations with my mum and husband helped painful memories slowly occupy lesser and lesser of my day.

One day when I cried incessantly in the ICU, a nurse said to me “Allah ne aapko zindagi apki bacchion ke liye di hai” and today, that statement rings the loudest in my head and in my heart. When I calm my new born down during her crying fits and comfort my older daughter after a nightmare, I understand why I got to live. I thank God that my girls are getting to grow up with their mother. I now pay less attention to worries that used to seem very big before. I realize that I am only to find my peace with the passage of time. That peace lies within me and I have to dig it out through positivity.

About two months after that dreadful day, I moved to Switzerland temporarily for my husband’s job assignment and perhaps that’s the change the four of us needed. What I lost during my surgery will perhaps pinch me forever but I need to concentrate on what I have rather than on what I might have wanted at a later stage in life. Navigating through unknown territories makes me realize that zindagi itni rangeen aur haseen hai ke dard aur beyakeeni ki dhalaanon se bhi waapis kehynch laati hai. You need to open your heart to those colours.

Today, while trying to cook without adrak and dhania and rejoicing over the discovery of desi grocery stores, somehow, I find myself leaving it all behind. My girls and I walk home from school chasing butterflies, feeding pigeons and dropping ice cream on our clothes. And somewhere, behind their smiles, I am beginning to see life again. I am beginning to trust life again.

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TAKING A REGULAR SAPPHIRE KURTA FROM “WHATEVER” TO “WOW”

The ‘alif bay pay’ of styling at work

Putting in a little bit of effort while getting ready for work in the morning sets the mood for the rest of the day. I particularly enjoy dressing up for work, and looking good gives me an extra dose of confidence. However, by effort I do not mean you dress up for your brother’s valima. The idea is to create a look that is tidy, fresh and shows that you are interested in taking on the world.

Advice # 1: If the snooze function is your life saver and you struggle to barely sip your morning chai while halfway through wearing your pants, do yourself a favour and pick out your clothes and accessories the night before. Lack of time should not be an excuse for looking scruffy at work.

Advice # 2: Appearing stylish doesn’t have to burn holes in your pocket. While it is good to spend a little on yourself and update your wardrobe from time to time with the latest trends, pulling out existing accessories and makeup items can come a long way too.

And with these golden words in mind, let’s take this Sapphire kurta as an example and proceed.

I am a frequent buyer at Sapphire – yes, even at the cost of twinning with a colleague or even a student every single time I wear a purchase from there. This particular kameez is nothing out of this world but I went for it because a) it is a straight, clean cut which is perfect for work, b) I liked the colour palette, c) I already had the earrings, the shoes and lipstick to go with it and d) it was easy on the pocket, like most other items at the store.

So, how do you set yourself apart from the rest and take this regular kurta from “jo bhi” to “wah bhai”? Here are some ideas:

- Do not pair it with white bottoms; they would be such a buzz killer. Instead, go for black, which will make the colours appear brighter and bolder.

- Instead of going for regular straight pants, use a tulip shalwar or cropped culottes to uplift your look from drab to fab instantly.

- Play with the colours of your shoes. I picked mustard sandals with gold accents as they match with the mustard part of the print. [BTW, I got these as a present from a friend over 3 years ago. You may clap for my wonderful preservation skills.]

- Go for very basic make up at work but experiment with your lip colour. I chose a maroonish pink shade to match the maroon part of the print. [The lipstick was pretty dark and pigmented so I pressed my lips on a tissue paper to remove the excess and leave behind the tint. Remember, kaam pe jana hai, valimay pe nahin.

- Use nail colour on the feet and keep the hands filed and buffed. Well kept nails show you mean business and chipped off nail polish is a BIG NO. I matched my nails and lip colour with the flowers in the print.

- Always use a small pair of earrings to complete your look. These black and white ones not only match but also throw some shine on the face, which is always welcome.

- Wear a smart, no nonsense watch. It is an accessory with a purpose and shows you value time.

- Carry a smart bag to work. Pick a spacious one that accommodates all your belongings and spare your clutches and satchels with balochi embroidery for post work hours.

- Make sure you pick a hairstyle that is easy to manage throughout the day. You don’t want to constantly fiddle with your hair during a meeting or while making a presentation. Lose hair usually ends up in a mess by the end of the day unless, of course, you maintain a strict brushing routine in the office bathroom. I usually go for a high bun – alternating between a messy and a neat one. Karachi walas anyway don’t have much option, thanks to the weather!

Here’s the final look for you to appreciate. Ciao. 

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EID STYLING 101- WHAT I WORE AND SOME MORE

This Eid was a very special one for me – it was the first of my second innings, for one, and then it was also my second baby’s first. I have always enjoyed Eid because you get to enjoy some family time and also because all the hosting is done by my mum and MIL so it’s chilling time for me. But what is most fun is dressing up in new clothes and pairing them with matching accessories.

I had been planning what to wear on Eid since before Ramzan had even started, picking the ideal cuts and making guesses about my post delivery naap. Hoping the swelling in my feet will disappear after my delivery and I will be able to wear something other than ugly bathroom chappals, I partnered with 3 shoe brands to make my feet look extra pretty. Here are the 4 looks my double chin, the post-baby paunch and I created for myself this Eid.

Day 1

Since I am still very low on energy and stamina after the surgeries, I didn’t do too many visits. Lekin tayyar honay pe saari jan laga di. The first day involved spending some time with my husband’s family after a sheer khurma breakfast with my own, so I wore what my MIL made for me. This lemon chiffon outfit is adorned with pretty embroidered bunches of roses and cutwork. She does clothes by the name Ashoo and Montaha and you can check out more of their stuff here. Since the cut was simple, I decided to opt for some fun on the sleeves, which feature cut out shoulders and voluminous forearms. The pants have a bit of a frilly scene at the hem.

I paired my jorha with these diamond earrings which I made my husband buy for me zabardasti on one of our anniversaries a few years back. I never got to use them, as he had rightly predicted, but this year they finally found a purpose in life and matched perfectly with my outfit. They are chamking along with their kismat.

Please note how beautiful my Cocoon sandals are – the tear drop crystals on the shoes also match the tear drop Topaz in my earrings, woohoo! It was love at first sight when I spotted them on Instagram so I just had to have them. They are the perfect example of minimalistic fashion – they are barely there, show more of my foot and shine just about right. I heart them.

I used pale Orange lip colour (Revlon Colourburst lip balm Shade Rendezvous) and bright orange nail colour (Kiko nail lacquer shade 357) to complement the yellow. I also straightened my hair and put on some perfume.

Day 2

I spent day 2 with my side of the family so I wore what my mum made for me. Truth be told, I am the designer and she is just the financer. I was sure that for one of the Eid days I want a wrap in blush pink – the cut is all over Instagram and the colour is trending majorly. However, I ended up getting something stitched that gave the illusion of a wrap using strategic placement of the lace but is actually a shirt with dolman sleeves -  saved the tailor the hassle and me the silayee ke paisey. Master saab was kind enough to take my khwaab to paya e takmeel.

I got the embroidered organza from Liberty in Lahore @ Rs.1000 per meter and had it dyed. The laces were procured from Button Corner in Ghalib Market, as usual. Please note the pretty ribbon work lace I used on the daaman:

I paired my jorha with gold and pearl earrings. They are a gift from my MIL and I absolutely love them. They are the perfect size when you want to be formal but not so formal, if you get me.

For bottoms, I went for boot cut pants with organza and pearl detailing at the hemline. Jootay puranay hi pehen liye, socha zyada over na hooa jaye.

Since the colour of my outfit was subtle, I went for some bright makeup – used my favourite rosy pink lip colour (Kiko Lipstick Strawberry Pink 904) and shocking pink nail polish (Kiko Nail Lacquer Raspberry Cream 361).

Day 3

This look is my favourite, possibly because my hair was most under control on the third day. I got this kurta from Agha Noor around November last year and being very door andesh, decided to keep it for Eid. This fully embroidered shirt was an amazing bargain at Rs.3500 only and is more of a timeless piece because it doesn’t include any of the trending sartorial features. The colour is in vogue and I instantly knew I want to pair this with gold eye shadow and red lips. I teamed the kurta with a shalwar accentuated with a bows.

Shall we take a moment to appreciate my Saphigo earrings? They are so cute! The minute I saw them I knew I needed them in my life. They are formal yet delicate and completely drool-worthy. Also, I love the illuminating effect they have on my face. It is an ideal pair of earrings to wear when you want to worry less about the clothes and let your accessories do the talking. 

Another accessory I used is this chunky Sapphire arm cuff which was a great buy at a 1000 bucks. With gold and pearls, it is the judwa bhai of my dainty earrings, lol.

What about the jootis? Well, I got these incredible fish scale gold and silver slip-ons from 3Footwear and I have to vouch for their comfort, style and affordability. The brand offers a great variety of everyday shoes so you can stop waiting for your trip abroad to get your annual shoe stash.

I opted for red lips (Clinique lipstick shade Cherry Pop) and nails (Kiko Nail Lacquer Vermilion Red shade 239).

Day 4

My Eids hardly ever spill over to Day 4 but this one did. I kept it casual and understated on the 4^th day – mainly because I was pretty exhausted after getting dressed for 3 days straight with an infant in my life and low levels of hemoglobin. I got this lawn block printed fabric from a new label on the block called Gulmohar, spotted at the Daachi Mela in Lahore. I got it stitched like an angrakha – again this is an illusion and the angrakha effect is created using the placement of the dark blue piping. Master saab kinda rocks at these hacks.

I paired the top with gharara pants, which I find more contained and practical than the all encompassing traditional gharara.

I also enjoyed the playful fringe on the sleeves, ideal to create a fusion effect when added to a traditional outfit.

Of course, every ensemble needs some accessories to spice things up a little. So, I used my firoza and pearl earrings along with a huge ass ring I got from Kohsar Market in Islamabad a few years back to complete my look. It is the best feeling when purani cheezain match perfectly well with new kaprhey.

Please note how well my Chapter13 khussas go with my outfit. They have the same shades of blue and I find the tie-up part pretty cute. The khussas were comfortable and the safaai of the haath ka kaam is evident. Thank you Chapter 13 for being so creative and providing your clients with traditional yet innovative options to adorn their feet.

I had no energy to change my nail colour hence you see kal wala red and I have no idea why I chose brown lipstick with this outfit, but here’s the name of the shade: Revlon, Rum Raisin. It did look nice, though.

Acha chalta hun, duaaon mein yaad rakhna…

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