Monday, 26 November 2018

10 MEN’S CLOTHING ITEMS YOU NEED TO OWN

Wear their clothes better than them


When we are so much better than men at everything, why not steal some of their sartorial options and rock them too? Blurring away the gender binary will open up more ways for you to ace the modern style game and at the same time gain more access to comfort and nonchalance. In fact, some items from the men’s section might actually be more flattering for tricky body types. Fitted dresses, showing some skin and walking around in high heels can be archaically stylish but, when done right, nothing can be sexier than donning some masculine garb. Here are 10 men’s clothing items you need to get hold of and some ideas to help you cross dress in a super stylish way.

1. Whitey Mightey


A classic white button down shirt will give you a cool, boxy look. Roll up the sleeves, pair it with ripped skinnies, summer sandals and add a dainty necklace. You can also tuck in one side and leave one out for a relaxed feel.

To wear it at night, team up with black leather pants and a black lace choker. Leave your hair in soft waves and sport some maroon lippy FTW.

2.  His jeans instead of boyfriend jeans


Why spend on the trending boyfriend jeans from the women’s department when you can get the same look in less by picking up men’s jeans instead? Try out the skin fit type in the men’s section and you can always go for a belt to keep them up and cuff them if they are a little too long. We bet you will get more comfort as well as a break from the overdone skinnies. Pair with a black off shoulder top, a cool pair of reflectors and embroidered denim loafers.

P.S. Check out the embroidered denim loafers at Chapter 13.

3.  Play red riding hood


A black men’s pullover hoodie paired with red pants is casual done right. Wear big silver hoops in the ears and opt for the no makeup look and a messy bun.

4. For the love of Paul Smith


If you have ever felt that women’s Peshawari chappals are uncomfortable around the toe area of your feet, go for classic tan ones made for the boys. They will work very well every time you slip into a casual t-shirt and jeans. Add a tan cross body bag and some ethnic rings to your look to femme things up.

5. Watch where you’re going


Chunky jewelry is in fashion so why not wear a men’s watch once in a while? Wear some beaded bracelets in different colours along with the watch and a leather band so create a happening look on your wrist. If you feel trendy and powerful wearing one, we will accept your note of thanks!

6. Say hi to the tie


Ties are not the best partners for suits only. Get your hands on some quirky patterned ties and pair them with solid shirts on days when the regular shalwar kurtas or cold shoulder tops feel boring.

7. Blazing hot


A black oversized blazer screams chic and you know where to find one from! Leave the buttons open and wear it with a maroon tee and dark blue skinnes. You can also simply drape the blazer on your shoulder. Add a gold bracelet or two on your wrists and some lip gloss for a hi-fashion look.

8.Waist that NOT


Get your hands on navy blue pin striped waist coat and wear it with a half sleeves grey t-shirt for a super chic look. For bottoms you can go for white skinnies or wide legged pants. Don’t forget a bag with a long silver sling, little shiny studs in the ears and a feminine silver bracelet.

9. Camouflage the sweat.


Grab a grey sweatshirt from the men’s section and pair it with camouflage pants (which are all the rage ATM). You can pick skinnies or a more relaxed fitting, depending on your style. Tie your hair in a messy ponytail and experiment with the colour of your shoes.

10. Plaid it right.


Play the queen of quirk with a red plaid men’s shirt paired with jeans and a black bomber. Don’t forget to add a pair of cat eye sunglasses for some casual glam.



This story was written for Limu Studio. You can follow them on Instagram here.




THREE SOUP RECIPES TRIED AND TESTED AT HOME

Let’s get cozy with bowls of goodness

Mahvish Ahmed

Curled up under blanket by the fireplace, a Netflix binge plan in mind and a huge bowl of warm soup in your hands…hmmmm…that does sound super attractive, given the weather, doesn’t it? Soups can help you fight the winter chills, they make a great meal when you’re looking for options lighter than nihari and paaye and they can be yummy and nutritious at the same time. As condiments, play with different types of bread (try Pie in the Sky for some great options), get hold of some soup sticks or prepare simple hunter beef sandwiches for a perfect winter touch (our mouth is already watering for Hanifia).

This month, we have been pretty active in the kitchen, testing some recipes at home. Here are three of our favourite ones for you to try and love. Get hold of some spinach, tomatoes and potatoes and get ready for soup-ilicious times ahead.

Cream of Tomato Soup


Ingredients
6 cups chicken stock
4 large tomotos
1 medium sized carrot
1 small sized onion
1 tsp soya sauce
A few drops of vinegar
Corn flour
½ cup cream
Salt and pepper to taste
.
Method
1. Chop onions, tomatoes and the carrot in small pieces and sauté in some oil (or butter).
2. Add the vegetables to the stock and allow to cook on medium heat in the broth for an hour.
3. Use a hand blender to make sure no big chunks of vegetables are left in the soup.
4. Add the vinegar, soya sauce, salt and pepper.
5. Use some corn flour to thicken the soup according to how you like it. (If you like the soup thin, corn flour can be skipped.)
6. Beat the cream and add a few teaspoons to a bowl of soup and serve.

Creamy Spinach Soup


Ingredients
6 cups chicken stock
500 grams roughly chopped spinach
1 cup chopped broccoli
1 small onion
1 clove of garlic, crushed
1 cup milk
½ cup cream
Salt and Pepper

Method
1. Melt some butter in pan and lightly sauté onion and garlic
2. Warm the broth and add in the in the onion, garlic, spinach and broccoli.
3. Allow to cook for an hour on medium heat and then use a hand blender to blend in the vegetables. Make sure no big chunks are present in the soup.
4. Add milk and allow to cook for another 15 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.
5. Add 2-3 tablespoons of cream to each bowl and mix before serving.

Potato and Cheese Soup


Ingredients
6 cups chicken stock
4 large potatos
1 medium sized carrot
½ stock celery
8-10 leaves of parsley
2 tablespoons flour (white)
4 tablespoons melted butter
¾ cups of shredded cheddar cheese
Salt and Pepper

Method
1. Chop potatoes, carrots, and celery in small pieces
2. Add to the broth and allow to cook on medium heat till all vegetables are cooked and soft
3. Use a hand blender to blend in all the vegetables till no big chunks are left behind
4. In a blender, add butter, flour and parsley and blend to form a paste
5. Add the paste to the soup. Allow to cook for another 15 minutes on low heat
6. Add the cheese and season with salt and pepper
7. Allow the soup to stand for 5 minutes before serving


Friday, 9 November 2018

#confessionsonsafarnamay: "My 29th Birthday"


Married for 3 years, the jibes and scorns had started coming my way for being ‘bold enough’ to plan when I want a baby. Hence, when the pregnancy test strip showed a faint red line on the morning of my 29th birthday, my social conditioning made me feel joyful. After all, I was going to become a mom, and the occasion was joyous.

It was too early in the pregnancy though. My periods had been delayed for only 25 days. The scan showed an empty uterus, but the pregnancy hormone was rising. My gynecologist asked me to not get carried away in my excitement and return after a week. 

As the hours passed, my excitement of motherhood increased. Perhaps that’s what God has made women to be like. I was ready to host the baby in my womb and eventually welcome the little being into my life, and my arms. My husband and I started Googling baby names too! But this magical feeling didn’t last. One day while I was hanging out with my mom, I felt a tight knot on the right side of my lower abdomen. I was taken to the emergency room, where fresh scans discovered that my pregnancy was ectopic. Instead of growing in my uterus, my baby was growing in one of my Fallopian tubes. The only option my doctor had was to kill my child with an administered dosage of chemotherapy. While for my family,the child was already a distant memory and my survival the focus, I couldn’t believe that my baby was being treated like cancer. How could it be that my own child could prove to be fatal for me?


I mourned the loss of the embryo that was supposed to be my first child. But I didn’t even get time to feel the pain of that loss. I was sent home from the hospital, only to return because of continued pain. It turned out that the baby survived the treatment and that had led to an eventual rupture in my Fallopian tube. There was massive internal bleeding and if not dealt with right away, this would be the end of my life.

The doctors did their business and post the surgery, I woke up. But I woke up with just one Fallopian tube. The other had to be removed. Since I was no longer pregnant, I began shedding my uterine lining. My threshold for the monthly pain is high, since ‘desi’ girls are instructed to curb their screams and not make a big deal of their menstrual pains. However, this time, I couldn’t control it. For hours, I screamed like a lunatic, until the pain subsided.

In a short span of 20 days, I had felt more than I had ever felt before. I went through the joy of knowing I’m pregnant for the very first time, being scared about childbirth, realizing something is wrong with me, going through chemotherapy, a surgery, losing my baby and losing a Fallopian tube. I couldn’t believe the emotional roller-coaster I had been through. I couldn’t believe I had suffered so much physical pain. I couldn’t believe I could have died. My future pregnancies may be affected. Will I have another baby? When will I have another baby…..I now think to myself.

It’s only been a week and I am trying to search for my peace in my surroundings. My husband somehow doesn’t exactly understand my pain. And on the other hand, my mother’s over caring attitude is getting to me. Perhaps, it’s too soon for me to feel normal. I am irritable. I know women go through miscarriages. I didn’t even hear the heartbeat of my child, yet I am living in despair. There are women who carry a child in their womb for 9 months and then deal with still births. Some have healthy children and lose them while they are just babies. I know I am not the first one dealing with this. Yet, I feel I have the right to feel sad….at least for some time. Do I not?

Hope is a wonderful thing. Women are wonderful creatures, capable of bouncing back to life from all kinds of situations. I do think that I will bounce back…but as of now, even if I am being over dramatic, I want the space and the permission to dwell in my pain for some time. I am engulfed with darkness, it is not easy to live once you survive a near death situation. But perhaps, it will take a long walk through this darkness for me to eventually see light again.

By Anonymous.


Illustrated by: Fatima Baig. You can follow her on Instagram here.

Tuesday, 11 September 2018

THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT AHAD RAZA MIR

His take on destination weddings, romantic letters and more



What's the most common daily activity for all Pakistani girls these days? Yes, you got that right! Drooling over Ahad Raza Mir. From mommies to grannies, if you’re a female, Dr.Asfandyar makes your heart go all mushy. Some of us are even jealous of Zubia, who’s going to end up having him forever in another episode or two of Yakeen ka Safar. Basically, this Canada-return hunk is doing to us what Fawad Khan did when we saw Hamsafar. If you are glued to the TV screen at 8 pm every Wednesday, holding your heart and wiping off your drool, know that you are not alone.

Want to send him a perfume or run into him at his favourite restaurant? Then scroll down without wasting another second. Light a few scented candles, grab some chocolate and get to know ARM a little more closely.

WO: If you weren’t an actor you would be?
Ahad: A chef or a director

WO: Hollyoood or Bollywood?
Ahad: Depends on what I am in the mood of watching.

WO: Favourite restaurant (s) in Pakistan?
Ahad: In Karachi my favourite restaurant is LOCO.

WO: Chocolates, flowers or jewelry – the best present for a girl in your opinion is?
Ahad: A meaningful letter.

WO: Destination wedding or a big fat Pakistani wedding?
Ahad: I’d love a destination wedding but I think I will end up having a big fat Pakistani wedding and then some functions abroad since my family is spread across the globe. I do hope I am financially stable enough to afford all of thus though (haha)!

WO: Favourite perfume?
Ahad: Euphoria by Calvin Klien

WO: The beach or the mountains? Your favourite holiday destination?
Ahad: I like both actually – the beach since I have grown in Karachi and the mountains since that’s what I enjoyed in Canada.

WO: Favourite desi dish?
Ahad: My mum’s chicken karahi

WO: Favourite Bollywoood actor? Actress?
Ahad: Ranbir Kapoor and Madhuri

WO: What’s the last song you listened to?
Ahad: Since I’ve been loving you by Led Zeppelin

WO: The last person you texted?
Ahad: My mum.

WO: A country/city you are dying to visit?
Ahad: Japan.

WO: Do you read, watch a movie, or sleep when on a plane?
Ahad: I do a lot of writing! And I am working on a few scripts.

WO: What’s next after Yakeen Ka Safar?
Ahad: Well, Parwaaz hai Junoon is releasing this year and I will start shooting for my next drama in November. I cannot reveal the details but I can say that it will be epic in its scale.

WO: The one thing that made you say yes to Yakeen Ka Safar?
Ahad: Asfandyaar’s transformation.

WO: Cake or steak?
Ahad: Steak.

WO: Your weirdest childhood habit?
Ahad: Well, I still have the habit of wearing hats – come summer or winter. I used to wear them even when it was -40 in Canada!

WO: Have you ever done something you wish your parents never find out?
Ahad: My mum reads/watches all my interviews, even the ones I try she doesn’t. So, I cannot if I do answer the question , she will find out!

WO: One thing you’d like to tell your parents?
Ahad: That I love them!

WO: Who’s the most influential woman in your life?
Ahad: My mum for sure.

WO;:. What comes to your mind when we say feminism?
Ahad: Equality.

WO: Laundry or cleaning – what did you hate more during your time in Canada?
Ahad: I didn’t hate either of them actually. Sundays were reserved for these activities. I’d light some candles and make the house smell nice while doing home chores. It was quite therapeutic.

WO: The three things your ideal girl MUST have?
Ahad: She should respect herself and other individuals, she should be able to argue cool headedly, and she should be active.

WO: When you are not working you are..?
Ahad: I am still working. Or sleeping!

WO: Mum or dad – your go to person in a time of crisis?
Ahad: My dad.

WO: One thing you were pleasantly surprised by on the sets of Yakeen Ka Safar?
Ahad: The team work and how well everybody gels in together.

WO: One gadget you are dying to own?
Ahad: I am a musician so there is this guitar I really want to have.

WO: Are you a saver or a spender?
Ahad: I save for some time and then go and spend it all together! So a bit of both I guess!

WO: You indulge in?
Ahad: Desserts.

WO: Eat out or cook at home?
Ahad: Home.

WO: One thing you love about following:
Kubra Khan
Ahad: She’s a beautiful human being
Sajal Ali
Ahad: One of the most charming girls I have ever met.
Mawra Hocane

Ahad: That she’s incredibly driven.

Saturday, 1 September 2018

Realisation #5: If Bano was able to talk, this is what she would say to me.





Entangled between a mess of crumbs on the floor, over-cooked rice on the stove, a shoe I could not find and the clock on the wall that said it’s time to go pick Minha up, I saw Bano sitting on the floor, with a clump of those crumbs stuck to her hands and a few in her mouth. There was a devilish smile on her lips, a cheeky twinkle in her eye. The mountain of frustration that was making me hyperventilate melted as her saw her cute little face shine even brighter in the light that peered through the window. Her pair of teeth sparkled as she grinned. In the quiet of the apartment that was currently inhabited by just her an I, here’s what I heard her say:

“Hi, my name is Bano and I am not a grown up. I like to sit in in different corners of my home and scream rather than play peacefully in the nice play pen my parents have bought for me. I'd rather eat the kachra on the floor or the crumbs my sister drops while she has her meal than the yummy food my mama makes for me. I like to be very noisy in public and demand milk just when my mama desperately needs to go to the bathroom. You know…that’s just how I am. I'd rather bang my head in the wall or fall flat on my face than sit securely in my high chair and play with blocks. I like to have more food on my bib than in my tummy when it's eating time. I like to wake my mama up several times in the night just because I want a hug from her.  I am 14 months old…but that’s just how I like my nights to be. If my mama decides to undergo the brave process of travelling with me to Pakistan, I give her such a hard time that she swears she will never repeat the heinous act again. Recently, I have developed an aversion to showering and an affinity for making a mess of my hair as soon as my mama makes a little ‘fawara’ pony on the top of my head. I like it messy, you know. I don’t like the stroller anymore. I like being wild and free…yes…even when I am on the roads. But mama, I am just a baby. Please let me be me. Before you and I know it, it will be time for me to go to school. Soon enough I will have to deal with the pressure of studying, maybe fitting in or sometimes not being good at things too. I will have to deal with the issues of life, with heart break maybe, with losing friends. I will pass sometimes, at times fail. You know the drill mama. I will have to go to university, perhaps live away from you, find a job and one day become a mama just like yourself. Juggling between my kids and my home and work, I will be so busy that you will wait for me to call. If we end up in different cities or countries, you will have to wait for months before you get to see me. Ask nano. And dadi. They know. So mama, enjoy me. For I will be a grown up soon and then you will have ample time to sleep or just be with baba. I know how you like to just be with baba. Then you can have your leisurely coffees in cafes and watch your favourite shows in peace. I will not be there to annoy you on your trips or scream for you in the background as you try to clean the house, frazzled and pressed for time. There will, for sure come a time mama, when you will have all the time but you will not have me. So, for now, let me be and don't let me wear you down. For I will not be this tiny person for very long.”

As I stood there, watching my little girl crawl towards me, hold my pants and stand up with their support, I said to myself that a few months ago, she wasn’t even able to sit. Today, she’s standing up. Tomorrow she, with her sister, is going to run far away, making her own life. I will be left with nothing but an empty nest. With perhaps a few albums that will take me down my memory lane. A home that’s tidy, a to-do-list very short. Just like Minha grew up in the blink of an eye, she will too. I stood there, realizing that the chores can wait. There will always be chores…but will me baby be a baby forever? No, she won’t. And as I realized that, the tense muscles in my body eased. The mess became less visible, the dust seemed unimportant. I bent down, picked up my little nut, and we kissed and hugged till it was time to go pick my elder chatty parrot.


Wednesday, 1 August 2018

Photo ke peechay kya hai, photo ke peechay?


Dear peeps of my Insta family, I want to thank you all or loving all my photos from Greece and Croatia. Here are some answers to the FAQs and comments.

Split, Croatia


Our history with photography


Faizaan and I started developing love for photography in 2011 when we bought our first camera and started experimenting with it at home, with Minha and on our trips. It is something that one develops skill for slowly and we still have a LONG LONG way to go. No editing software or camera can just do it FOR YOU. You have to take out time to acquire the skill and hone it. Everything that I have learnt about it is through Faizaan, at least 90% of it. The rest of the 10% has been learnt by andherey mein teer chalaaing and it somehow working. Faizaan learnt what he knows through YouTube tutorials, photography magazines, some experimentation and then finally a 3 month diploma at Indus Valley in Karachi. Between 2013 and 2016 we took our hobby one step higher by starting professional wedding photography and making a little name for ourselves in Lahore. Whatever we earned, we spent it on building on our equipment, which included a variety of lenses, lights, stands, diffusers, cameras, remote shutter releasers etc. While we were still gaining clientele and shuhrat, Switzerland happened, and we moved. And with that our time as wedding photographers ended.

Lake Bled, Slovenia


What it entails


Photography is an art as well as a passion. When we moved, we didn’t own a car to help us carry our equipment around AND Bano was also added to the equation with her stroller and winter gear. So, we started doing or photos with our mobile phones and ditched the equipment we owned. Over the past year we realized that this hobby has less to do with lenses and cameras and more with what your eye can catch and understand. This serves our ourpose of making memories well and being on the cover of Nation Geographic is anyway not an aim.

A lot goes behind this hobby – understanding how to compose a frame, lighting, how to use the tools while post processing, using your phone or your camera, the lenses and diffusers properly and so on. Buying an expensive camera or editing software does not guarantee good pictures, just like having all the ingredients in your kitchen does not guarantee good biryani. Yaani, aik button dabaein aur aik shahkaar nikal kea aye, aisa nahin hota. You need lot of patience too - such as waiting for hours for the sun to be in a certain position, clicking the camera several times with the same muse to get the preferred result; waiting for the passerby to exit your frame; waking up early to catch the golden hours OR the time when everyone else is sleeping; waiting for the birds to fly for more drama in a sea or mosque photo etc. Most definitely, it’s not a hobby meant for the impatient.

Ljubljana, Slovenia


What it means to us


Our pictures are a means of translating our memories into something that will last forever. We are not aiming to make money out of this so most of the time we are happy with just using our phones for most of the work. Thanks to better technology, phones offer cameras good enough to take family photos to make mementos or to even take shots for my blog.

We enjoy taking pictures and then expressing our feelings, experiences and interpretations of situations  through their colours and compositions. Faizaan and I may be taking photos at the same place or of the same thing but our end results differ, because we, as people, differ in our thinking and what we take away from life. It is also something we like doing together and bonding over it. It’s perhaps the one thing we look forward to doing together when the girls go off to college Inshallah.

Budapest, Hungary


Where you can start from


For your pictures to attract appreciation, you do not have to be travelling to different countries. You can start at home, and even stay at home, i.e. Pakistan, to create masterpieces. We have done great pictures at our (not so great) apartment in Karachi and at the neighborhood park….or Kund Malir Beach and Hingol Natonal Park in Balochistan, in Bahalwalpur, around the Old City of Lahore, and in the Saddar area of Karachi. We have yet to explore the North, but you could take your camera there! Affordable, accessible and very beautiful. Don’t wait to travel abroad to start taking pictures. Start now. Start at home.

Dubrovnik, Croatia


What should your take away NOT be from my pictures


This one’s for all the girls who message me saying they wished their husbands were interested in taking nice pictures of them. By no means does this passion of ours create any #couplegoals or #husbandgoals. This is just something we have found for ourselves to do together. This doesn’t have to be the thing YOU do together with your husband or hound him to take your pictures if he doesn’t like photography. You can do something else together which you both enjoy. The point is to spend time together doing something that you bond over. Look for what that thing can be for you. It could be playing a sport, or reading the same book and then talking about it, going to the gym together or even cooking. And if you prefer, sitting on your couch and watching movies together. Adding chai and nimco to that is also an option. Taking good pictures together is not the beginning and end of this world, especially if one partner is tanging on the sooli while the other is trying to be Mona Lisa. Social media se pressure kam lein aur entertainment zyada.

Santorini, Greece


Samajh aaein saari baatein?

Aa gaein?

Good. And good bye.

Some information:
Our camera – NIKON D650
Lens used on this trip: 50mm
My phone since the last 6 weeks: Huawei Mate 10 Lite
Editing software and the app we use: Lightroom and Snapseed.

Sunday, 15 July 2018

Realisation #4: Some “me time” is the only therapy I needed.




About 2 months ago, I landed up at the doctor’s because of various physical and mental issues. Different pains in my body and sleepless nights were making it hard for me to carry out the daily responsibilities of a mum living in a foreign land without help. The trauma of a life-threatening delivery a year ago coupled with loneliness and fatigue had left me exhausted. That day as I told the doctor my issues, it felt as if her gaze could pierce through my heart and read everything it had to say. It felt as if I was being heard and understood after a long time.

She suggested some very mild antidepressants to me, a sleeping pill for a while and physiotherapy to get rid of my pains. In addition to the medical advice, she said “Get some help. Get a baby sitter. Look for a daycare”. The impact her gaze left on me was profound. I decided to take the leap and put Bano in childcare, 2 days a week only.

After some research and a few visits, we found a place we liked for our baby. Alhamdulillah, Bano’s transition to the daycare was smooth and soon enough we got the hang of it. Tuesdays and Thursdays were like heavenly treats for me, when both kids would exit the house at 8 am. You know how they say the world is your oyster? That’s what Schaffhausen became for me. I knew instantly what I wanted to do with my time. I wanted to do all those things I longed to do but never could because my body had permanent attachments – a stroller and a hungry/whining/pooping child in it.

I joined a yoga class on Thursday mornings as well as the expat mums’ walking group. I started taking trips to Zurich to see my Pakistani friends and sometimes to just to stroll and shop….watch people, experience big city life. I dedicated a few days to writing at my favourite coffee shop with a cuppa and chocolate croissant. On one Tuesday, I joined the school mums to do something really special – wear Dirndls (the traditional Swiss dresses) and wander about Stein am Rhine (a beautiful little Swiss town), soaking in history and taking photos. There were a few lunches and coffee GTs here and there. I went and lay down in parks all by myself. I climbed the castle steps.

As the weeks passed, I started developing friendships and having a social life. Some days, I found myself running from one plan to another. I felt I could get used to this place! My perpetually stressed mind and physically taxed body started finding some respite. It was not that I had some sort of a postpartum depression or that I was not enjoying becoming a mother again. It was just that it was all too much. Adjusting to a new place where I knew no one put together with a completely different style of life left my muscles constantly tense. Trying to wrap up as much as I could around the house as Bano slept and finishing the grocery as quickly as possible before the biscuit in her hands finished meant I was anxious 24/7 without even a second of a break. And that can be exhausting for a mother! I mean, we cannot fully relax even when we are asleep because that ‘chaadar’ that the baby always pulls off is a constant source of stress, isn’t it?

As I got the chance to have conversations with people who are not 1 or 7 years old, I realized there are so many others in the same boat. So many others who are living away from home, sharing the same issues that I have. If I miss the baara piece wala chicken, there are others too who miss their preferred meat cuts, feel agitated due to not knowing where the next job will be and worry about their children not learning their native language or missing out on certain religious aspects.

This time to myself helped me get some human interaction which I longed for without even realizing it. Getting to laugh with others, sharing experiences, woes and worries made me feel lighter. It gave me more confidence in my abilities to survive in a country other than Pakistan.

So sistas with little pistas, the fact is that mums need some time out – a trip to the salon or to the mall, meeting friends over coffee without worrying about the child throwing a fit over the broken cupcake, or just some time alone at home to read a book and clean in peace. These little breaks can rejuvenate us (gulloocoze ki botal feels) and allow us to make our home a happier place. Plus, presenting yourself to the husband as a calm, content dosheeza rather than drawny Chucky can be a game-changer for our marital life.

A few days ago, when I looked at the antidepressants ka pata lying on the kitchen counter before I left the house, I said to myself “I don’t need these”. And as I walked out of the house feeling really happy about this feeling of genuinely feeling happy, I realized oh my….it’s been days since I actually thought about the ICU bed! “Me time” is perhaps the only therapy I needed.


*This piece was written for and published in Weekend Magazine, The Nation, Pakistan.
**Photo Credit: Jill Meade-Odenbeck. You can check more of her work out here.