Chai Talk: Using the 'N-word'

Let's talk about the health of your mind over some chai?

Topic: Saying NO is your right. Haanji, bilkul.

I do a lot of self-talking to stay in touch with my feelings and try to eliminate factors which negatively affect my inner peace. One of those factors was not being able to say NO until a couple of years back. And since I have realized how much zeheni irritation that brings to me, and sometimes a physical toll too, I have been trying to master the art of saying NO. Well, it’s not really an art, just a few things you need to teach yourself to blurt out the N word more often. Here they are:

Just do it

Develop the courage to be straightforward and just say it when you want to. Remember - Agla banda chahtay hooey bhi apko khaa nahin jaye ga.

Being cute works

When you say NO, say it with the sweetest smile you can produce. And while doing it over texts, do it with a lot of emojis. Be polite when saying it and apologize. Don't be rude, put up the best cute face that you can.

Short and sweet

Refrain from giving a million explanations. Be brief and firm to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. Jitni baatein, utnay sawaal. And you want to keep it easier for yourself.

Make your list

Define a set of people to whom you never want to say NO, and that's because this is how YOU WANT IT to be. I have a very clearly defined list including very few special people, for whom I do things because I want to not because I am obligated to or because I expect reciprocation at some point down the road. Saying yes to them every single time makes ME happy even if that yes means giving up my own sanity or comfort.

Self love = ‘gulloocoze ki drip’

Using the N-word is doing yourself a favour, an act of showing self love, which you need to be able to play a positive role at home and at work. And there is NOTHING wrong with prioritizing. Life can be demanding with kids, their school, with home chores and even more so when you're a working mother. So, take a rain check when you need one. Know that you cannot always make everyone happy. That’s just how it is so throw that guilt out of the window.

Use the ‘SANU KEY?’ like a ninja

Also know that people DO make unreasonable requests and every time one comes up, you DON'T have to bhichaaofy yourself. You and your time are more important than that. I understand saying NO is mostly going to invoke the displeasure of people. And a lot of taanas too. But I realised the damage that unrequired YES caused my inner peace, or the peace of my home, is not worth saving on the phoolay hooey moons. Now, like a badass, I say, kisi ne moon phulana hai to phulaye, merey liye mera moon sab se zaroori hai.

Apkay liye kiska moon zaroori hai? Feedback, high fives of agreement and comments of disagreement welcome. Also, hope the chai was good and refreshing. Khudahafiz. 

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