EID STYLING 101- WHAT I WORE AND SOME MORE

This Eid was a very special one for me – it was the first of my second innings, for one, and then it was also my second baby’s first. I have always enjoyed Eid because you get to enjoy some family time and also because all the hosting is done by my mum and MIL so it’s chilling time for me. But what is most fun is dressing up in new clothes and pairing them with matching accessories.

I had been planning what to wear on Eid since before Ramzan had even started, picking the ideal cuts and making guesses about my post delivery naap. Hoping the swelling in my feet will disappear after my delivery and I will be able to wear something other than ugly bathroom chappals, I partnered with 3 shoe brands to make my feet look extra pretty. Here are the 4 looks my double chin, the post-baby paunch and I created for myself this Eid.

Day 1

Since I am still very low on energy and stamina after the surgeries, I didn’t do too many visits. Lekin tayyar honay pe saari jan laga di. The first day involved spending some time with my husband’s family after a sheer khurma breakfast with my own, so I wore what my MIL made for me. This lemon chiffon outfit is adorned with pretty embroidered bunches of roses and cutwork. She does clothes by the name Ashoo and Montaha and you can check out more of their stuff here. Since the cut was simple, I decided to opt for some fun on the sleeves, which feature cut out shoulders and voluminous forearms. The pants have a bit of a frilly scene at the hem.

I paired my jorha with these diamond earrings which I made my husband buy for me zabardasti on one of our anniversaries a few years back. I never got to use them, as he had rightly predicted, but this year they finally found a purpose in life and matched perfectly with my outfit. They are chamking along with their kismat.

Please note how beautiful my Cocoon sandals are – the tear drop crystals on the shoes also match the tear drop Topaz in my earrings, woohoo! It was love at first sight when I spotted them on Instagram so I just had to have them. They are the perfect example of minimalistic fashion – they are barely there, show more of my foot and shine just about right. I heart them.

I used pale Orange lip colour (Revlon Colourburst lip balm Shade Rendezvous) and bright orange nail colour (Kiko nail lacquer shade 357) to complement the yellow. I also straightened my hair and put on some perfume.

Day 2

I spent day 2 with my side of the family so I wore what my mum made for me. Truth be told, I am the designer and she is just the financer. I was sure that for one of the Eid days I want a wrap in blush pink – the cut is all over Instagram and the colour is trending majorly. However, I ended up getting something stitched that gave the illusion of a wrap using strategic placement of the lace but is actually a shirt with dolman sleeves -  saved the tailor the hassle and me the silayee ke paisey. Master saab was kind enough to take my khwaab to paya e takmeel.

I got the embroidered organza from Liberty in Lahore @ Rs.1000 per meter and had it dyed. The laces were procured from Button Corner in Ghalib Market, as usual. Please note the pretty ribbon work lace I used on the daaman:

I paired my jorha with gold and pearl earrings. They are a gift from my MIL and I absolutely love them. They are the perfect size when you want to be formal but not so formal, if you get me.

For bottoms, I went for boot cut pants with organza and pearl detailing at the hemline. Jootay puranay hi pehen liye, socha zyada over na hooa jaye.

Since the colour of my outfit was subtle, I went for some bright makeup – used my favourite rosy pink lip colour (Kiko Lipstick Strawberry Pink 904) and shocking pink nail polish (Kiko Nail Lacquer Raspberry Cream 361).

Day 3

This look is my favourite, possibly because my hair was most under control on the third day. I got this kurta from Agha Noor around November last year and being very door andesh, decided to keep it for Eid. This fully embroidered shirt was an amazing bargain at Rs.3500 only and is more of a timeless piece because it doesn’t include any of the trending sartorial features. The colour is in vogue and I instantly knew I want to pair this with gold eye shadow and red lips. I teamed the kurta with a shalwar accentuated with a bows.

Shall we take a moment to appreciate my Saphigo earrings? They are so cute! The minute I saw them I knew I needed them in my life. They are formal yet delicate and completely drool-worthy. Also, I love the illuminating effect they have on my face. It is an ideal pair of earrings to wear when you want to worry less about the clothes and let your accessories do the talking. 

Another accessory I used is this chunky Sapphire arm cuff which was a great buy at a 1000 bucks. With gold and pearls, it is the judwa bhai of my dainty earrings, lol.

What about the jootis? Well, I got these incredible fish scale gold and silver slip-ons from 3Footwear and I have to vouch for their comfort, style and affordability. The brand offers a great variety of everyday shoes so you can stop waiting for your trip abroad to get your annual shoe stash.

I opted for red lips (Clinique lipstick shade Cherry Pop) and nails (Kiko Nail Lacquer Vermilion Red shade 239).

Day 4

My Eids hardly ever spill over to Day 4 but this one did. I kept it casual and understated on the 4^th day – mainly because I was pretty exhausted after getting dressed for 3 days straight with an infant in my life and low levels of hemoglobin. I got this lawn block printed fabric from a new label on the block called Gulmohar, spotted at the Daachi Mela in Lahore. I got it stitched like an angrakha – again this is an illusion and the angrakha effect is created using the placement of the dark blue piping. Master saab kinda rocks at these hacks.

I paired the top with gharara pants, which I find more contained and practical than the all encompassing traditional gharara.

I also enjoyed the playful fringe on the sleeves, ideal to create a fusion effect when added to a traditional outfit.

Of course, every ensemble needs some accessories to spice things up a little. So, I used my firoza and pearl earrings along with a huge ass ring I got from Kohsar Market in Islamabad a few years back to complete my look. It is the best feeling when purani cheezain match perfectly well with new kaprhey.

Please note how well my Chapter13 khussas go with my outfit. They have the same shades of blue and I find the tie-up part pretty cute. The khussas were comfortable and the safaai of the haath ka kaam is evident. Thank you Chapter 13 for being so creative and providing your clients with traditional yet innovative options to adorn their feet.

I had no energy to change my nail colour hence you see kal wala red and I have no idea why I chose brown lipstick with this outfit, but here’s the name of the shade: Revlon, Rum Raisin. It did look nice, though.

Acha chalta hun, duaaon mein yaad rakhna…

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MY LETTER OF APOLOGY TO DR.A

Dear Dr. A,

While choosing to keep your name from the world, I beg for your forgiveness that I couldn’t impress you with my ‘temperament'.

When I woke up in the ICU, the first thing I did was crack a joke with my husband. Little did I know how badly timed it was. I did not know what had happened over the past 4 hours while I was unconscious and all hell had broken lose on my family. A C-section that was supposed to last 40 minutes had turned into a life threatening procedure. I had been given 7 bottles of blood and needed more. While I delivered a healthy baby 25 minutes into the surgery, a complication called Placenta Accreta almost took my life.

As I slowly gained more consciousness, I started noticing all the ‘unexpected extras’ attached to my body. I had gone inside with just one branula, I came out with 6 which dotted both my arms over bruised patches. I noticed there was a bloody drain popping out of my stomach, a urine bag dangling next to me, and a weird bunch of catheters were protruding out of my neck. The pain was more than what I had expected. I had undergone a C-Section for my elder daughter 6 years ago so I was confused. And then my doctor came to explain to me what had happened and all that I had lost during that surgery. I was supposed to stay for 2 days in the hospital; that had now been revised to 8. “You can say that your plane crashed but you survived,” he said. And then I struggled to sleep through the night.

The next morning I was woken up by the head nurse in the ICU who asked me if I had walked around. I was so shaken to hear that I was this close to dying that I did not feel I have the power to invest in a walking escapade. I was petrified. I wanted my doctor. I told her I want to wait for him but she gave me a nice scolding. I had a bad shivering attack after that which made my stomach muscles, interlaced with lots of stitches and wounds, quiver. It was painful. Without the AC or the fan it took 3 blankets and 20 minutes to settle. Thank you sister for the early morning present.

Then, thankfully, my doctor came, we had another talk. He made me sit up, which was quite an exercise for me, both mentally and physically. As soon as he left, the physiotherapist came and made me do some more exercises. In the middle of all this I was being pumped with drips and injections and a lab assistant was drawing a blood sample. I was drained. And then you came – to change my dressing.

You pulled the tapes off my skin as if you have no concept of pain. You pressed on the dressing harder than you should have. My stitches and wounds were tender and you hurt me. Yes, you couldn’t have done anything about the pain resulting from the surgery but you could have been gentle. And after you rattled my broken stomach and subjected me to your mean, rude, insensitive demeanor, Dr.S, the Mighty, came. I needed a break, just a moment to stop talking, for it to stop hurting, for me to catch some air. Dr.S started with her tassalli and I covered my eyes to stop my tears. I requested her that I don’t want to discuss what had happened. Her reply was that she wasn’t here for social service; she was here at the request of another senior doctor. When a hurting patient in the ICU asks the doctor for a moment, is that the reply a ‘senior’ doctor is supposed to give? I started panting, trying to catch my breath, I started getting the painful shivering attack again, but she wouldn’t stop her rant. My husband and sister asked her to step out, my condition quite evident, but her ego had been hurt. A nurse stepped in to put the oxygen mask on my face but apparently ‘senior’ doctors are supposed to be blind to everything but their own inflated sense of self. She continued arguing with my husband about how she was there on request and was not being treated with respect.

Finally she stormed out. After the whole hue and cry had happened, you told my husband “Itni senior doctor theen, inhon ne ehsaan kiya hai aap par yahan aa kar, laikin aapkey patient ka temperament bohat kharab hai.” Patient ka ‘temperament’? Dr.A, you are a woman. Do you know what it is like for a woman to lose what I had lost? You had obviously read my file and you knew. Do you know what it feels like when you know you were this close to never waking up again? Do you know what it feels like to imagine the news of your death being broken to your 6 year old daughter? Do you know what a mother feels like when she knows she was this close to never seeing her new born, never knowing her? What it feels like to imagine there was a possibility your babies would have had to grow up without your lap, without your love? To imagine what your husband would do with those 2 kids, how would he fill the void of a missing mother? To imagine what your parents would go through to learn that their 33 year old daughter didn’t make it in the operation theatre? Do you have a family? Do you have people around you that love you, who you never want to see cry? What sort of a ‘temperament’ would you have displayed if you were in my shoes? Have you become this callous because you cut people up every day and their pain is just routine for you? Or perhaps you missed all those lectures where your professors taught your batch mates how important it is for a doctor to be compassionate in addition to being skillful.

I want to know why it was MY job to smile and be nice to you while I was going through the biggest turmoil of my life. It hadn’t even been a day. I want to know why I was supposed to salute Dr.S and feed her ego when I was going through agonizing pain. Why was it not okay if I didn’t want to talk? How dare you tell my husband who, less than 24 hours ago was trying to figure out what to do with my babies in case of bad news, that he needs to manage my ‘temperament’? Why is the coming of a doctor to see a patient an ehsaan? Isn’t it their job? Don’t you become a doctor because you want to help people? Well, you cannot cure people when you don’t even have 2 nice words to say, when you don’t even know how to change a dressing with a light hand, when you don’t even understand that surgeries, specially that take a patient close to death, can be traumatic for normal people. I am still dealing with the trauma, I still cry when I imagine my eldest learning that mama will never come home.

Just learning how to cut and then stitch people up doesn’t make you a doctor. You need to know how to heal people. You are lucky to be working in the hospital you are in. If you need lessons on how to heal patients and be a real doctor, learn from Dr. Tajammul who has a sea of compassion in him, who has done and is doing all that he can to pull me out of this.  Learn from Dr. Gardezi, whose entrance through the door made me feel like everything will be okay. Observe Dr.Kamran as he knows how to be firm yet kind and warm. Learn from Rizwana, Mehwish, Sonia and Naureen, nurses in the ICU, who held my hand through all my blood tests and cleaned up my mess, each time with a smile.

Smile a little for your patients, Dr.A, it won’t cost you a cent. Understand them rather than expecting them to give you protocol. They say mareez ki duaein zaroor lagti hai, you never know when you may need them. Shifa deynay wala Allah hai, magar waseela aap hein. Dil naram kar ke waseela banein. Perhaps, you need to revisit why you chose to become a doctor.

Once again, I am deeply sorry, that a day after the most traumatic, shocking and scary experience of my life, I wasn’t able to welcome you with the ‘temperament’ that was agreeable for you.

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A LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD

I am sitting in bed, trying to cherish the last few hours of having you inside me before you are brought into this world tomorrow (Inshallah). I just put your elder sister to bed after talking about what tomorrow will be like. It's is a big day for her – she has waited anxiously these past 9 months to meet you, her baby sister. She used to beg me to pray for a sister even before I was pregnant with you and when I started expecting you, baba and I actually wished we have a girl this time around as well. He has always had a thing for girls (LOL) and after knowing your sister, I have developed an affinity too! I am excited to be able to hold a little baby again in my arms. I am already in love with you and quite sure I will miss your kicks inside me. But what I have been even more excited about is that Minha will have you, a sister, which is probably the best gift God can give to a girl, a best friend for life.

However, at many points through this pregnancy, people’s statements and reactions have been nothing short of disgusting. Why? Because my second child will also be a girl and the society that you are about to be born into is tainted with a ghastly belief system – it has a suffocating obsession with sons.

A few months back my maalish wali said “Waisey to jo Allah ki marzi, laikin dua to achi hi maangni chahiyay. Iss dafa Allah karey baita ho”, as she massaged my aching legs. I wondered why praying for a son qualifies for being an achi dua and for a daughter it doesn’t. Every faqeer that could notice my tummy said “Allah apko baita de” instead of saying “seyhat aur zindagi wala baccha de”, thinking that the former comment has more chances of making me happy and giving more sadqa. From your sister’s caregiver to your nano’s cook, everyone has showered me with ‘good wishes’ that I have a boy.

But was this dua limited to the people who, unfortunately, were not educated? For who having a son actually means old age security? Well, certainly not. I got unwelcomed reactions from some people in our own family too. “Baita hota to family complete ho jaati, ab to tum baitey ke liye try karo gi.” I got that from some friends too who didn’t say it out loud but their expression said everything on finding out about another girl. And these weird responses at times really did make me feel uncomfortable. Why would the birth of a son mark the completion of my family but that of a daughter will not? Is a girl somehow less complete than a boy? Does a baby girl give less pleasure to her parents? Is it some second degree sort of a present from God? Am I supposed to feel self pity that my second child is a girl as well? Am I supposed to look at you with some sort of disappointment? Do you deserve less love?

No. Never. I want you to know that you are not coming to parents who think of girls being any less than boys. You are coming to a family where you will not be taught that marriage and kids are your ultimate goal in life. You will play football if you want to and bake or paint if that’s what your preference is. You will be taught to be independent and confident. You will be taught to always voice your opinion. You will, if Allah allows, get the education that I would’ve given to a son had I had one.

Thinking like a selfish parent, when I look around, it is actually the daughters who do more for their mum and dad than sons do – that’s what my experience has been. I see daughters bonding with their parents differently than boys – and by that I mean a good different, of course. It is the daughters who are always around in sickness and in health, with their relationship with parents remaining unwavered irrespective of their marital status, social requirements or the amount of work they have at their workplace. In old age, daughters are a bigger emotional support than sons. Yes, I have seen sons being the financers but it’s always the daughter feeding the ailing parent with her hands. In today’s day and age, why is the concept that the male child will provide the resources still lingering? Why can’t a daughter do the same? If, at least, in the educated families, daughters too attend universities and make good money at their workplaces, why is a son needed for insurance? Your baba’s nani lives with your dadi, who has supported her in every way possible – from her financial to her medical and emotional requirements, your dadi has taken care of it all. That’s the example your father and I live with. I find those couples rather unfortunate who do not value their daughters and have a child after child in the quest of producing the chashm o chiraagh of the khandaan. Jab ke beti se zyada roshan koi chiraagh ho nahin sakta. I feel for those daughters who watch their parents love them differently from their brothers.

Even though we don’t know each other yet, I know that along with your sister, you are going to be my strength and my unfailing support. You both are going to be my best friends. I want you to know that IF I do decide to have a third child at some point down the road, it WILL NOT be because I wanted to try for a boy. It will only be if I want to re-experience a baby, because I will be missing little hugs of you and your older sister, I will be missing tiny hands and sweet laughter. As the hours of the night pass, I cannot contain my excitement. I can’t wait for you to join me and your sister for spa dates, nail polish nights, mehndi on chaad raats and a lifetime of incessant nonsense talking!

You can follow me on Instagram here.

"THIS TOO, SHALL PASS", THEY SAID.

And, so, it did…

  “Don’t bend mama, let me fetch it for you”, she says, every time I try to maneuver my pregnant self to pick up the pen that always chooses to slip through my fingers. It is unbelievable how fast she has grown up, how much she has grown up, to turn into my biggest fan, my greatest lover, my unconditional supporter, my enthusiastic partner, my extension, my reflection.

Minha, my daughter, is almost 6 now and I started expecting her just 2 years after my marriage. For some couples, that may not sound like ‘just’ as khushkhabri ki dua starts on the suhaag raat by the whole mohalla. But with us, there was absolutely no family pressure. My husband and I were still honeymooning - taking 3 trips a year, progressing in our respective careers, hardly seeing the sight of our apartment on weekends and making spontaneous purchases.  When the stripes on the home test turned red in Dubai, just one day after I had screamed my lungs out on the fastest roller coaster on earth in Ferrari World, I was stupid, care free and completely unaware of the meaning of a child.

Soon enough, Minha came about in my life, and I confess it was not love at first sight. It was a close attachment, at best, and nothing like the insanely intertwined relationship we share today. When she was an infant and those diaper or baby shampoo ads appeared on television, I thought they’re a hoax – because my diaper-changing and bathing moments were never the epitome of maternal bliss. I hated waking up during the night for her feeds. I hated cleaning poop in the middle of my meals. I pitied myself every time my hot cup of tea became cold for the 4^th time because she just wouldn’t sleep for more than 5 minutes during the day. I cared for her, I did the best I could for her. I made her feeding and sleeping schedules, took her out to play, dressed her in the best, read to her, meticulously decorated her baby book, did all the things that all mums do. But it was mere acceptance, not embracement.

I went back to work when she was 2.5 months and enjoyed those few hours away from home thoroughly, while she went to the day care with my husband at his office. I waited for her to sleep for the night so I could get an hour or 2 of ‘normalcy’ with my husband. For months after her birth, the both of us didn’t go out for dinner because ‘ye kaisa dinner hooa jismein sara time mein minha ko god mein le kar kharhi rahoon aur wo roti rahey’. When our parents visited Karachi from Lahore, the height of delight was going out for a movie while they’d babysit. Our expenses naturally shot up and our trips reduced to 1 per year – and she wasn’t a part of those trips till she was 3. I missed my long stretches of sleep, I felt mentally exhausted and the idea of a second child was nothing short of a nightmare.

But as they say, motherhood is strange. I don’t even know when my love affair with her began. I started feeling different about her without even knowing. Today, struggles of being a mum remain – there’s still never a quiet moment at home for me to work in peace. Meals are still not a pleasant experience. Bad dreams still disturb our sleep at night. But what I see now is her growing up fast. So fast that sometimes I want to pause time and breathe her in a little, smell her a little more, kiss her a little more, feel the warmth of her hugs a little more. I don’t know when it happened, but I look forward to our bedtime conversation. She is my confidant, her hugs are soothing. We go out for lunches together after school; we cuddle up in bed and watch movies with junk food.  I no longer want any time away from her or dream of her sleeping over at my mum’s. On days she has play dates, my afternoons feel empty. We have become so close. We are so in love. The teary eyes she gets when I tell her “I am not speaking to you” show me the love that no one else in the world can. When she asks me before she sleeps “mama, is the baby okay? Can I get you anything? Water? Medicine?”, I know this is the person who is always going to love me unconditionally, my baby, my daughter.

She got her ears pierced recently and I gave her little baalis that my dadi gave to me when I was 5. I thought to myself, “Oh my God, is she so old now that I am already passing down heirlooms to her”? And now that she is a little miss-capable-of-going-to-the-bathroom-herself, I miss those diaper-changing times when she would laugh hysterically if I touched her nose with mine. I wouldn’t say I lost, and then found myself. In fact, I clung to myself fiercely, never letting go of my own identity. But I think that I just discovered a part of myself that was hiding somewhere deep down inside.

There is not an iota of doubt that the process whereby infants metamorphosize into something close to human beings is a tough one, but once those tiny little feet move into shoes, leaving behind the booties as a sweet smelling memory, you will miss it. So, pause, breathe, cherish. Now, I just fear that sooner than later she will be more interested in her music and headphones than my bed time stories.  A few years ago, when senior mums said such things to me, I thought they belong to another planet. And today, here I am, saying the same to the new ones in the hood. “See flowers, not weeds”.

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The quote “See flowers, not weeds” has been taken from Handsfreemama.com.

MATERNITY STYLE HACKS FOR THE PAKISTANI MUM TO BE

How I built my bump tool kit for less

Though I was in no mood to make the effort, the ever expanding tummy size as the 8^th month approached begged for more room in my clothing. So, I decided to build myself a bump tool kit for the summer. Going shopping made me realize that, fashion wise, this is indeed the best time to be pregnant. Kyun? Kyunke flared silhouettes from 2011 have made a triumphant return, with loads of ready-to-wear A-line kameezes, peplums tunics and desi frocks on the racks. I did buy some prêt, but nothing else is camouflaging my tummy more than the customized wardrobe I got stitched for myself.

I wanted clothes which don’t cost me my jaidaad and are comfortable to wear without compromising my personal style.  The ghaneemat was that master sahab came over to do my stitching, thanks to the clothing business I ran for 5 years back in the day. With his cooperation (and feeding him samosas and jalebis every now and then to keep him happy), my kurtas have turned out to be cute as well as versatile - done up enough to take me through social calls, appropriate enough to dress me up for work and simple enough for me to run market errands in. Scroll down with a chai ka cup (or a Coca Cola?) for deets as I spill the beans just for you.

Before we start, plz remember: The cheaper my shopping, the happier I am. My poses must be appreciated, it wasn’t easy. I couldn’t create more variety with the hair because I look super fat when it’s tied. You can click on each picture and zoom in for more intimacy with the designs.

Points I kept in mind when designing my #lotd

Silhouette: I decided to go for an A-line cut for all my kameezes. I did not put on weight on my shoulders/chest area so wanted to keep the shirts fitted at the top, gradually increasing in volume to accommodate the tummy.

Main emphasis: From Miss Zara in London to baji Zara Shahjahan in Lahore, sab hi ko ajkal statement sleeves pasand hein. So, my aasteens are the championing sartorial feature of my kurtas.

Colours: I have picked pastels and yellows to keep things light and summery.

Extra embellishment: Laces, tassels and pearl buttons. No embroideries.

Accessories: Since I am quite a big chunk at the moment myself, I have decided to avoid chunky jewelry pieces and stick to pearl studs in the ears only. I’m playing with matching shoes, nail polish and lipstick for some fun.

Bottoms: Despite an endless list of choices in the bottoms department ATM, the only two lowers that work with an A-line cut are straight pants and tulip shalwars, so those are my saathis.

Places of procurement: Lahore Centre for all the prints and Button Corner in Ghalib Market for all the laces/tassels. Very convenient for laydiss whose main physical feature is their stomach.

#resultsbelike

#lotd No.1

I instantly fell in love with this pineapple print in yellow. I went for a boat neckline accentuated with lace (got it dyed). The balloon sleeves, elasticized at the forearm, feature cut out shoulders and strings around the elbow to be tied in a bow.

The shoes are about 4 years old, bought happily from Primark, London, for only £4 (yes, true story, and I am very proud of it).

#lotd No.2

Pastel blue is everywhere this summer and is easy on the eyes so I got this solid powder blue in doria for some texture. The sleeves are bubbled with a cuff right below the elbow. I added bows studded with a single pearl on the cuffs and a few pearl buttons on the back. Pretty floral lace adorns the hemline on the front and back.

I got the shoes from 3 Footwear for Rs.1450 and they have cute studded starfish on them.

#lotd No.3

This fabric was a must buy as it is totally different from the rest – the floral pattern is embroidered with a hand-painted sorts look. I added some colour by using mauve cloth on the cuffs and piping on the neckline. The sleeves are, again, bubbled with ruffled detailing. Threaded buttons adorn the neckline.

I got the shoes from an unexpected place – The Shoe Planet outlet in Gulberg Galleria. (myself also shocked)

#lotd No.4

This is the only branded fabric I got (from Khaadi) because I loved the chunri print and the lime green colour. The neckline sports braided yellow tassels and the sleeves have volume only in the bottom half.

Outfit paired with khussas from Khussa Mahal to complement the chunri pattern and tulip shalwar.

#lotd No.5

Powder pink is working well with my beauty status these days so this fabric was instant love. The sleeves are shorter, smocked around the elbow, creating a cute, frilly effect. I also wore pretty pearl bracelets but I don’t think you can see them much. OHO. Lace embellishes the hemline.

Got these Nine West sandals on sale for Rs.2500 (yahoo!). The darker pink adds a pop of colour to the look.

#lotd No.6

The bright corals and oranges are super cheerful (and I like that) but brought down to some tameez with the off white base so, this print made its way to my heart. The hemline lace is dyed in 2 colours and the neckline is enhanced by 2-toned tassel strings. Ruffled sleeves are the statement feature of the kurta.

I got the shoes from Vincci a year ago on sale for Rs.1500. Proudz I am.

#lotd No.7

This white doria print pulls a BRIGHT KAREIN effect on my complexion which I really enjoy. The circular flounce in the sleeves is divided into 2 ruffles and the strings at the back are tied up in a bow. Pretty lace just above the elbow makes the sleeves more interesting.

#lotd No.8

No summer wardrobe can be complete without a mint green kameez now, can it? This fabulous fabric is soft and textured. The cold shoulder sleeves are voluminous elbow down. White zigzag and chikan laces adorn the sleeves and neckline. A bow at the back adds to the cuteness factor of the kurta, what say you? I finished off my look with a matching mint green nail colour.

These Tory Burch sandals were bought from Bicester Village near London on a great deal a year back. Great deals give me great satisfaction.

#lotd No.9

This print has my heart for 2 reasons - first, stripes are trending; second, it's my way of declaring my love for cream and Pakistani mangoes. The slit sleeves finish off with scalloped edges and pearls. 3 stringy bows on each sleeve add just the right amount of drama. I accessorized with a tan bag and shoes. Nail and lip colours are brown.

The shoes are present from a friend. She got them from FOREVER 21, Paris.

Kahani khatam, paisa hazam. Aur kaprhey banaye to waapis aoon gi.

*You can follow me on Instagram here.
** Also, you can read up on trending pants styles here if you wish, my story for Women's Own Magazine.

GREAT UNEXPECTATIONS

A new baby, 5000 miles and fresh waters to swim

19^th October, 2016, was the day I was waiting for. I had been having extremely demanding past few months while juggling teaching a University course, writing 8 articles a month for a magazine, doing a free lance project with a multinational (involving interviewing and writing profiles of a 100 women), and all that is part and parcel of running a house and raising a child. I was also stealing some time from all the madness for yoga classes to manage the agonizing pain in my lower back stemming from a slip disc. The interviews for my monstrous project were to end on the 18^th and I was waiting desperately to get my life back and a tad bit of sanity.

At snail’s pace, days passed by and came the glorious day of 19^th October, when I was to rejoice and rejuvenate my existence a little. Taking a day off from all my work as a reward, I finally had time to listen to my body. I realized I am abnormally lethargic and sleepy. I was nauseous too and, hallelujah, my XS Sapphire shirt did kinda feel extra small on me. OH SHIZ. It dawned upon me that it’s been a while since I had had my period.

To make doodh ka doodh and paani ka paani, husband missed his gym after work and returned with 2 home pregnancy tests. When I presented him with 2 red strips on both, he presented me with the following sentence: “You know that role in Switzerland? I got it.”

I sat there holding my head, recognizing that the meaning of this moment was 2-pronged. Pehli baat to ye thi ke Mashallah se, I was pregnant, that too, 7 weeks, that too, by mistake. It’s not that I didn’t want a second child; in fact, I did very much. But I was holding it off because of my broken back. I had had severe back pain since November, 2015, but had discovered the slip disc just a few months ago and was getting various treatments, which were failing one after another. I was on new pain killers and was doing very strenuous strength building yoga to manage the pain. With this exercise routine and painkillers, I couldn’t have been pregnant. Pregnancy meant not being able to sleep on my stomach, the only position of pain-relief. A new baby meant sitting down for indefinite periods for breastfeeding, which was petrifying as I was not, and still am not, able to sit pain free. Simple activities like watching TV while sitting on a sofa or chilling in my bed with my laptop are, for me, luxuries. I have had to counsel myself everyday to be strong and keep living my normal life. On bad days, I have actually lost the will to live for brief moments but have had to pull myself out of pessimism. And because of this pain and halfway through learning it’s management, I wanted to wait for number 2.

The second change that 19^th October brought with it was the fact that we were moving – again. Not to Lahore this time, but to Europe. Being very used to the Pakistani ways, the thought of being a stay-at-home mom with 2 children and without any help was beyond daunting. This was me, the Europe lover, the traveler, the explorer (I sound like Dora now) terror-stricken by Switzerland. Mein to waisey bhi raai ka pahaar bananay mein maahir hoon, ye sab to aik volcano tha jo aik dam phata. But at the end of the day being in Switzerland was not the problem, not being there was. With the super strict Swiss authorities and a few health factors here and there, today I sit here in Lahore, waiting for the baby, the visa and the day when the children, my husband and I will reunite physically as a family.

Between 19^th October and 30^th December, I packed up my home just 1.5 years after moving back to Karachi. I had to quit my beloved job at the IBA - again. I had to let go of my yoga instructor with whose help I was slowly making progress with my back. I had to quit all medication for pain instantaneously since I was unexpectedly expecting. I didn’t know where my blogging and free lance writing will be going, something that had just taken off and seemed to be doing well. The gham of losing my amazing cook was also killing me a little inside. Aur sonay pe suhaga, fat-days were impending.

But, between 19^th October and 30^th December I prepared myself to not just accept, but to embrace the changes. I don’t want to waste a single moment of my life waiting for ‘better’ times to come – I want to live every moment and extract the goodness even when it seems hard. So, I tried dealing with the changes that followed positively. After careful deliberation, I decided to home school my daughter till we were to be away from Karachi. It is an acute test of my patience but with the help of some cooperative mums and her school, we are making progress and I am actually enjoying watching her climb the ladder of learning. After teaching hundreds of students over my 8-year career in education, tutoring my own child has been the most rewarding. I am still writing for the magazine and adding to my blog. I have taken up part time O level teaching at LGS to keep my thirst for classrooms and Economics somewhat satiated. I am spending all my time with my daughter which has taken our relationship to a whole new level. I indulge in music and regular desi massages. My back doesn’t allow me to sit and read books so I have gotten audio books on my phone which I can enjoy while lying down. And in addition, I have gone all out making myself a pregnancy wardrobe which helps me look and feel good.

When life seems to be going off-track, even if in a good way in the long-run, unpredictability and lack of control over what is going on can be difficult to handle. Losing my job, ending up teaching a kindergarten course to my daughter rather than instructing undergraduates, letting go of pain killers, having to give up my own home and finding space for myself in my parents’ after 8 years of marriage,  and living without my husband who is the heart and soul of me can be overwhelming. In the midst of this roller coaster ride, pep talks with myself and with those who are around me have helped me buck myself up time and again. And finally, at this moment, I feel relaxed, positive, and ready to read a new chapter. After all, “the happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”

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NEED TO TRY: THE 5 CAMOUFLAGE CREAM PALETTE BY MAKE UP FOR EVER

Looking better in a few simple steps

Though I have always liked using my make-up, right since my college days, the products I own are pretty basic. Every day when going to work, I use sun block, foundation, face powder, blush, eye liner and kajal. Lipsticks make occasional appearances on my face and I am enjoying experimenting with them more lately. But kuch aur ho na ho, foundation hamesha hota hai because I’ve never had that flawless skin. Afsos.  Jahan aksar genes ne saath diya, skin ke maamlay mein mukammal failure raheen (mom’s gonna get really offedend by this BTW but what to do).

Kher, a combination of age and pregnancy kinda begged me to start using something for coverage on my face. And so, I requested for a spot corrector as a present from my sister who was making a trip to Dubai. She came back with a corrector palette by MAKE UP FOR EVER rather than just a spot corrector – ‘coz it turned out there ain’t just a single spot corrector. Being the makeup jaahil that I am, I never knew that! The one she brought for me (shown below) is palette #5, which has 5 of Make Up For Ever’s main corrective shades.

Price: $40

I was quite curious about what role the green and purple colours that sat in it will assume in my life. What I found out made me realize that makeup too is a science!

Peach: is the concealer

Brown: is for sun damaged skin and can also be used as a bronzer on your cheeks

Green: cancels out redness so is to be used to cover pimples or red marks. (Hmm. Much needed since my skin doesn’t seem to understand that I passed puberty almost half my age ago.)

Purple: neutralizes yellow so is meant for brown pigmentation or age spots. Much needed.  (You can also apply this on the high points of your cheeks to brighten them but I might try this when going to a wedding, not for work)

Orange/Red: cancels out blue undertones, hence, meant for dark circles. Didn’t think I needed this but turns out THIS is the magic shade.

Basically my bachpan ki ROYGBIV knowledge came into play here. In case you forget what cancels out what, here’s a colour wheel visual that you can even Google later if you forget the correcting rules. This actually makes the whole technique sound simple.  

It has taken me a bit of practice to figure out the routine that is right for me based on my needs and requirements. It was initially the age spots that were bothering me which prompted me to get my hands on correctors but  it turned out that it’s the covering of the under eye circles which gives my face the lift and freshness that I was looking for! So on days when there’s a lack of time, I will be ignore the spot correctors and just dig into the red!

Suggested everyday routine:

1. Moisture your face at night so your skin is free of dry patches in the morning.

2. After washing your face, apply your sun block (please start using it now if you don’t already, iss se pehlay ke meri tarha pachtana parhey). Recommended by a dermatologist, I have been using Helionoff for the past 2 years and it works pretty well with makeup.

3. Apply your eye shadow at this point and clean off any residue that might have fallen on your cheeks or under the eyes with some makeup remover. I use Urban Decay Naked 1 as my staple eye shadow palette. The Body Shop Camomile makeup remover is nice and mild in case you're looking for one.

4. Now complete the correcting process, based on the colour wheel. I prefer using my finger tips for this.

5. Dab a damp cosmetic sponge to ensure the correctors are set. 

6. Don’t be scared of your face looking like a box of macaroons and proceed with confidence.

7. Use your finger tips to put a few spots of foundation on your face and use a brush in circular motions to blend the foundation. Avoid rubbing too much so the correctors don’t smudge in the wrong places. I use the Expert Face Brush by Real Techniques – it’s supposed to be one of the best.

8. Now dab (never rub) the concealer on top of the orange corrector used on the dark circles using your fingers. This must be done in a downward triangle. This will bring all the right attention to your eyes and cheekbones.

9. Dab some setting powder under your eyes as well as the rest of the face to finish the look. (If you don’t use powder, your makeup will crease)

10. Now that your face has some nice coverage, and I am hoping you will notice it too, put on some blush, Kajal and eyeliner to complete your look.

Additional information: I do not use too much of any of the products mentioned above so I don’t look like someone right out of a YouTube makeup tutorial.

As of late, I am following these simple steps to get better looking skin and some more confidence. Why I like the MAKE UP FOR EVER corrector palette is because it’s quite basic. There exist corrector palettes with even 15 shades and I cannot run that marathon every morning. I cannot run that marathon ever, in fact. It is also quite pigmented, so just a bit of the product will do wonders and last long. For those who do basic makeup every morning, colour correction is essentially just one additional step that makes a whole lot difference. And I am all for it!

I have been pretty stubborn about makeup and like sticking to familiar products for years. But the MAKE UP FOR EVER corrector and concealer palette is something that I unexpectedly loved and makes me want to open up to some new products and techniques. One must do that with age and changing textures of the skin. What do you think? Try it out and let me know how you liked it!

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